32 Weeks, 6 Days

This morning, DH and I had our weekly appointment with Dr. C. The boys passed their second biophysical with flying colors. They are both weighing in at 5 pounds. I mysteriously have gained 8 pounds in the past two weeks. But I'm trying not to focus on that!

Somehow Baby B has flipped himself around and he is now vertex, while Baby A remains breech. How is it possible that he did that and I had no clue? You'd think I'd be aware that something major was going on in there, but I am quite oblivious.

I gained the following information during my inquisition, um, I mean, time ... with Dr. C.

• I can work yet another week, if I want. Um, yeah, I think I like getting out of the house, so thank you, sir, may I have another?
• He is not going to schedule a c section and we won't talk about it again until one of the following happens: a) I spontaneously go into labor and then we'll talk at the hospital. Does that seem sudden to anyone other than me? or b) I hit 38 or 39 weeks.
• The rest of our conversation today centered on (b). My OB prefers not to go past 38 weeks, but the hospital we will be using prefers 39. So, he's not even sure they'd let him do this at 38 weeks...here is where I get confused....not sure if he meant have the c section at all, or have it without an amnio.. but he was going to do some checking, and call some perinatologist friend of his in Dallas. I probably don't need to be involved in the politics surrounding this decision.

The thing that stands out is that he said if I was his daughter, he would have me do an amnio and not go past 38 weeks. I told him I'm in no position to make this decision on my own, so whatever he wants will be what we do.

If I make it that long, I may just start my own labor-inducing activities so as to avoid all of this medical establishment bureaucratic crap.

I never thought we'd be pregnant, make it this far, or be outside the fear of premature labor, so the thought of inducing labor with spicy foods, etc. seems absolutely foreign to me. That's something that other women do, not me! There are still days when I can't believe I'm pregnant. When I forget that I'm pregnant, feel one of my babies move, and am awe'd all over again by the fact that we're here.

So, I'm feeling confident. Like a rock star. Who knew my body could do this? It's not over yet, and there's still so much that could go wrong, but today, I feel like my body is apparently really good at growing big, healthy babies.

But I'm also a little uncomfortable, because we don't have a plan. To me, it's like I've been at war for 8 months and just now realized I have no exit strategy. Well, my strategy was kind of I won't have any control over this, so I'll just go with the flow but now its sounding like I might at some point have to make a decision. And so I will have to make up some 11th hour strategy and I feel completely unprepared for that.