Friday, March 20, 2009

So, my husband surprised me by coming home about an hour earlier last night, which meant he was here at 6:45. He called on his way home, and dinner was just coming out of the oven, so I waited and ate with him.

After dinner, he was folding his laundry so I went downstairs to find a piece of paper we needed to file our taxes. But my nesting instinct must have kicked in because I spent the next hour shredding and purging old files. Do we really need copies of our water bill from 2002? At arm's length?

I finally sat down to read my book around 9 or so, and DH continued to clean up little projects he had started around the house for another hour. So, around 10, I'm reading on the couch and he's sitting beside me working on a job application. I fell asleep at some point. He apologized for running around. But I was just happy he was in the house. Somehow, the change of scenery from my usual spot - in bed, because that's where the Tivo is - to the couch, coupled with his being home, made my night significantly better.

Tonight, we have a date to go to the mall to pick up our double stroller, which I had been procrastinating on buying, but since I have purchased just about every.single.item remaining on our registry, it was time.

Tomorrow, DH has to work (shocking, I know!) so I will be on grocery duty. Also, maybe a little work that I brought home that I mysteriously did not feel like tackling today. And if I'm inspired, a scrapbook page.

I've completed two pregnancy pages this week - one of us from this year's Christmas picture titled Expecting and another of my favorite sono pics titled Womb with a View.

I don't know why I hadn't been motivated to preserve these memories before, I think maybe I was afraid one or both of my boys might not make it. Not that I'm completely over that fear, but I don't know, I was just inspired. Hopefully, I haven't jinxed anything.

***

In much more petty news, two of my best friends (bridesmaids) are having plastic surgery in the next few weeks.

H is having a nose job, after recently getting braces. She already has a rockin bod, kick a** sense of humor and great hair. Seriously, she's going to be a fem bot after this. I hate her right now.

T is getting a tummy tuck and her boobs done a few days after our scheduled section. She just got married in Mexico and is totally skinny from dieting for her wedding. She was always pretty, and now her body is going to be perky and smooth.

F'in b*tches! I'm so freaking sure they're going to be all perfect and gorgeous and I'm going to have 50 pounds to lose. I can just hear it now, Um, yeah, that's A, she's our brilliant, ugly, overweight "old" friend.

My only respite should be that my 3rd BFF (and yet another bridesmaid) just had a baby last week. But she had totally been dieting before she got pregnant, and only gained 20 pounds during her pregnancy, delivering an 8+ pound girl, so I hate her too right now.

I have never been thin or gorgeous, but pregnancy sure does a number on your physical appearance.

Let's review the image issues I am facing right now -

a) most recently - bloated, sausage-like feet;
b) most notably - distended abdomen of baby parts which prevents me from adequately reaching the brakes in my car, seeing my sausage-like feet, being able to reach to wipe my own a** or shave my legs, etc. etc. etc.. And when I tell people I have 3 weeks to go, they gape widely at my belly in disbelief, until I point out that there are two in there. Sheesh!
c) least likely to go away - stretch marks that resemble tiger stripes on my abdomen, and thanks to the miracles of laser hair removal, in places that people keep their pubic hair;
d) bleeding gums;
e) permanent runny nose which causes me to get painful pimples on the underside of my nose;
f) Tums crumbs on my chest and trailing around behind me;
g) horrible hair, because let's face it, its just not worth doing it anymore!
h) 5 outfits total that fit that I've been rotating for the past 5 months and I'm so sick of them, everyone else must be too!
i) skin tags!

Not that I would begrudge them their self-improvement, but their timing is bad for me. And they both want to come visit me and the babies while they're on leave with their surgeries. Are you freaking kidding me? I will still be everything above, plus add

j) extremely sleep deprived
k) replace the crumbs with spit up stains
l) two words: nipple leakage!
m) mammoth engorged breasts, or worse ... deflated saggy ones
n) red eyes from all the crying
o) still wearing these same 5 outfits!

If I don't get PPD, I will have real depression after their visits. Of course, I'm just jealous. Skinny b*tches!

2 comments:

JamieD said...

Dammit - I need to fold laundry. You just reminded me.

I told one of my good friends about my pregnancy and the first thing she said was that she wondered what was going on because she noticed my chin was more broken out than usual.

She is one of those people that would never say something mean intentionally and was probably horrified as soon as it came out of her mouth but it still ruined my weekend. I knew my complexion was much worse than usual but I was hoping I only thought it was so bad because I had to look at it every day. Apparently everyone else has noticed as well.

I do love my little bean, but there are many things I am NOT looking forward to. The size of my ass included.

Sushilover said...

Ha! You said it. I quite frankly am not allowing anyone even someone decent looking over my house after I bring the nuggets home. That's the last thing I need. Any my brother in law's model tart girlfriend better not show her face at the hospital either! If it makes you feel any better I am donwn to two pairs of velvet sweat pants that I'm rotating. Black and Grey...take your pick. By the way I love the title "Womb with a View"!