Thursday, August 14, 2008

A Snarky Post

So, totally have to complain about this woman at work, lest you think all I do is have fertility treatments and attend foster care classes. I do actually have a job. And its a big deal, to me.

So, there is this woman in my office, who is new. She's maybe been here a year. And I am the reason her position was created. I am the Organization Development Manager. I conduct needs assessments and that department needed some change. So, I created this position. And the person who filled that position was supposed to enact a bunch of other plans I had laid out. And the person was supposed to have an extremely customer-friendly attitude. So, I had high expectations. But did not actually do the hiring myself, as I was just called back for this assessment portion of the project, while I was living in Houston for another project. I'm dedicated and sh*t.

So, today, my boss tells me that this woman has been complaining to her about me. That's right, not to me, not to my face, but to my boss. And my boss was waiting until the IVF cycle was over, so she could gauge my reaction sans hormones.

Here's the lowdown:

A month or so ago, I considered one of this woman's employees for another opening in our company. When he expressed interest, I told him to tell her first. When he needed to be tested, I asked her permission first. And when he didn't get the job, I told her why and asked her permission before I told him anything about why he wasn't getting the job. Not only did she give me her blessing at every friggin turn, she expanded on my examples of why he shouldn't get the job. So, she knew exactly what I would tell him, and told me that he should already know all of the things I mentioned, because she had brought them up herself.

So, I did. I told him the three things his test showed. I told him that he was very successful, and that he could work for our company for another 20 years without changing a thing about himself. But that if he ever wanted to get a position that I was hiring for, that he would have to work on these three things. He left thanking me, saying he had grown by the experience of interviewing and finding out what I was interested in, etc.

This happened around July 15, and then last week, she complains to my boss that she almost lost this employee and that I destroyed him. She mysteriously neglects to mention the conversation where I expressed my concern that this conversation might cause problems for her, and where she gave me her blessing, and where she gave me additional examples of his behavior to use during the conversation. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?????

Tomorrow, after my second beta, I have a meeting with this woman and my boss to clear up this BULLSH*T.

My first instinct was to write her off. I believe after about 20 minutes of ranting, I finished with, "I'm done." Because she is a backstabbing b*tch. And I should mention, in addition to this issue, she has pissed off other employees and I have had to help her repair relationships with them. I have never defended her, but have always encouraged both sides to figure it out and communicate so we could work through these issues together.

She has already gone over two other managers like myself, complaining to another VP, so my boss (who was never mad at me or questioned my choices or behavior, but was concerned that this woman was undermining me) is beginning to see the pattern and thinks this woman isn't going to make it here and may need to be 'outed' politically sometime soon. The thing is....this woman needs ME to be successful, not the other way around. I have taken her under my wing, have taken her with me on trips, so she could build vital relationships. She asked me for help no less than 3 times today on things that are outside of my job description, but yet totally within my realm of competence. I can't even begin to tell you how pissed I am. But I want to take the high road. And I want to be mature in this meeting, so I need to plan my comments for tomorrow.

OCD me will be having about 1,000 pretend conversations with her in my mind tonight. I need to focus on how disappointed (note: not angry, not ego-driven, but disappointed) I am that she didn't come to me with her concerns. I need to focus on how confused I am that she didn't mention the whole 'blessing' conversation with my boss while she was stabbing me in the back. And I need to focus on how counter-productive it will be for the company if I can't trust her. I probably should not continue to focus on the fact that I think she is a f*cking b*tch!!!!!

Sorry for all the cuss words. I probably need to cut down on that in the next eight months or so. Nobody wants a drunken sailer for their mommy. But cussing feels good. Grrrrrrrr!


Faithful Infertile said...

Ohhhh... that would so make me mad. But, I totally agree. Take the high road. Don't stoop to her level. Be very professional & courteous. And, don't worry, you little bean doesn't have ears yet so swear away (for now). :)

Elana Kahn said...

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. :-( I also wanted to let you know I tagged you. Check out the details on my blog!

Elana Kahn said...

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. :-( I also wanted to let you know I tagged you. Check out the details on my blog!

G said...

Ugh office politics and people acting like they are in high school. UGH!! Let us know how it works out.