Sunday, August 10, 2008

6dp5t Holy ****!

I dreamt about POAS last night.

I dreamt I bought a 3-pack and inside were three different kinds of tests. None of them were the same.

One was black like a pager. You remember what those look like, right? And it showed progressive dots for how pregnant you were. Mine had the most dots, like 4, and it shot little graphic fireworks on the screen because I was so pregnant.

The next one looked like those long sticks you can get to floss your back teeth. So, it resembled a pee stick, but I had to pee on this floss-like string on the end.

The third one was a nomal First Response test.

In the dream, I peed all over my fingers trying to get the samples. I remember that I kept worrying I didn't get enough on the stick. And all three tested positive. So, it was a good dream.

But then it got frustrating, because I lost the pager and was searching all over the house for it. When I finally found it, it has stored other people's information in there and it had turned into the itouch and I couldn't log in as myself or find our results under the other people, and DH wouldn't believe me that we were positive until I showed him those results.

I am hesitant to tell you the rest of this story, about where the dream came from. Because it feels premature. And because from here on out, there's a chance I may lose some of you. So, please remember I'm still IF. But I can't keep it to myself....

I was at Target yesterday, and bought a 3-pack of First Response HPT's. And I put them away about 3:45pm under the bathroom sink, in the back where I wouldn't see them. But I knew they were there. And I took one around 5:30.

Ok, I admit it. I have the self control of a 2-year old. Sure I'm all talk when I don't actually have a stick to pee on, but as soon as I've got some in stock, I cave. (Actually, I found an old EPT back there when I was putting them away, so I've had a stick all along and didn't even know it. Silly me.) Back to my story...yes, I am weak. I made it just under two hours.

And its faint, but its there.

Now I've seen evaporation lines before and so I'm a little gun shy. But I don't think evaporation lines show up within the allotted time. So, I didn't tell anyone at dinner last night. And I was still unsure it was really there.

As soon as I woke up this morning, I prayed to God that it would be darker.

So I took another test this morning.

And its darker.

So, I *think* we may have a winner (or two). And I am full of mixed emotions because I actually had kind of given up. I mean, I think that I truly and sincerely believed that this was never going to happen for us. And now that it (maybe) has, well, I'm kind of in denial. And I know that there is still so much that could go wrong. This could be chemical. And after that, we all know, there are a million other hurdles for this little embie to cross. That being said, I've moved from cautiously optimistic to cautiously ecstatic.

I haven't admitted the POAS to DH yet, but I told him I'm pretty sure I am pg, and asked him who all he wanted to tell when we get the beta on Wednesday. That was a fun discussion of who we would tell together, on our own, and how, etc.

So, for now, I'm not telling anyone about the sticks. And we're not confirming anything until beta, but I think ... possibly... I might be ... PREGNANT!!!


Kymberli said...

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!! I never tell this story until after someone else tests positive after they dreamed of taking positive test, but that has happened to me twice before, and each time I've really been pg. I had that dream, and then the very next morning I got my BFP. I'm thrilled for you and DH!

Penny said...

Oooh!!! It sure sounds cautiously pregnant to me! Here's hoping the lines get darker.

Elana Kahn said...

YAAAAAY!!! Congrats!!! I got a light BFP on Friday, myself, so I'm also pretty cautiously ecstatic. ;-)

Sweetpea said...

Wow! That's fantastic. Congratulations on getting a BFP. I hope you continue to have good news.

Faithful Infertile said...

:D :D I am so flippin' excited for you! That is amazing! Let us know your beta results!!!