Friday, September 5, 2008

One Sick Puppy (7 wk 1 d)

I say 7wk 1d, but I worry something's gone wrong and I no longer am pregnant, and I'll find this out next Thursday at my sonogram. And its all my fault. Here's why:

I stopped taking my pre-natal vitamin in the morning and have the past three days taken them in the evening about the same time as my progesterone injection. And so, I haven't been as nauseas or dizzy. Or, maybe not because of this, maybe because something tragic happened and I am no longer pregnant. So, at the risk of absolutely ruining my Saturday and spending it in bed, I am strongly considering taking tomorrow's pre-natal vitamin in the morning. If I don't get sick, I will have some sort of evidence to justify my worry. Plus....

The spotting has continued all week. I notice a slight discoloration on the toilet paper intermittently throughout the day, every day. Always slightly brown. Never pink. Never red. I know this is no reason to worry, but it still bothers me. I know I saw spotting the night before my last sono. And everything was just fine then. I know. I also haven't been as totally exhausted (although perhaps that is because I've been falling asleep by 9 every night so maybe the extra sleep is helping). And the boobs no longer hurt, like ever.

Spotting + no symptoms = worry. Even though I know it does me no good. Even though I have no concrete reason to worry. I hate to repeat myself, but I think this is the curse of infertility - never fully believing you are pregnant, or can stay pregnant, or have a healthy child. I don't want to worry, but I do. Maybe if I could just puke.

In other news, the leadership class has been going well. There is lots of food, which is nice. I haven't been too tired or nauseas (good for the class, bad for my worrying). I do notice I yawn a lot in the afternoons. But the people don't suck, and althought there are a few who seem full of themselves, in general, they are authentic and I am learning a lot from them.

Only six more days before our 8 week ultrasound. I'm anxious to be sure everything is okay. Duh! I hope I am made a fool by two healthy heartbeats in perfect size and substance.


Elana Kahn said...

Sweetie, I've been spotting too. I can't remember if I told you this already (forgive my preggo brain if I have), but on my 7 week ultrasound last Tues they found a small blood clot. It doesn't interfere with the little beans, and it's not serious. The doctor said that I would see brown spotting and that as long as there's no cramping and it's not red, that I don't need to even think about it.

Secondly, I also don't have many symptoms. There are days when my boobs tingle and days where I don't realize that they're there. There are days when I get nauseous at night (even w/o taking my vitamin) and there are days when I'm perfectly ok. There are days when I'm so tired that I just want to sleep and others when I'm pretty much awake (usually those are the days when I got a decent amount of sleep the night before). There are nights when I don't get up to pee and nights when I get up once or twice. There are nights when I dream really weird stuff and nights when I don't dream at all. So there you have it, symptoms are fickle. You can go days with nothing and days with something and it's all usually perfectly normal. Without evidence of impending miscarriage--ie severe uterine cramping (not just twinges on the side which are probably growing pains) and red bleeding (brown spotting doesn't count even if you have some all day) I'd say to try your best to relax. :-) Yes, it's hard to do, but there isn't much that can be done for the little growing peanuts except wait and hope that they're still growing. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Jenn said...

Mine are two and I still don't quite believe I get to keep them sometimes.

I don't know if this will help, but I never had bad morning sickness (mild nausea at best), my boobs never hurt, and I was tired, but not exhausted. Basically I had no symptoms. And everyone kept saying how with twins you get all the symptoms worse and I never did.

*hugs* Hang in there. Six days feels like an eternity to wait for an ultrasound.

JamieD said...

IF is a curse in more ways than one.

Hang in there - I know it is hard. Your next US is just around the corner . . .