Sunday, September 7, 2008

Family Drama (7wk 3 d)

So, I have been feeling super tired and nauseas all weekend. Hooray! (raises arm over head and begins celebratory fist pumping!) regardless of whether I take my pre-natal vitamin, there will be naps. Feeling crappy has got me feeling way better!


DH is installing the hand rail to our basement in preparation for our home visit this Thursday for our foster care license. After that, I hope he will continue his work by congregating all the harmful chemicals in the garage behind locked doors. And then, dare I say this, I *think* we are done. We just need to flip the tot locks to 'on' and we're ready for the state. I can't believe we're this close.

Had lunch today with DH's family to celebrate his mom's birthday. His step-father took DH outside after lunch and made some comment about how excited they are about the babies and how they 'hope' I don't keep them out of their lives. What?! Excuse me?! Like I've somehow kept their son out of their life?! I was aghast, but am going to NOT take it personal, and am going to let it go. T's JOB is what keeps him out of their life, and mine. The man works 6 to 7 days each week, and doesn't get home until almost 8 each night. He has no life. T joked on the drive home that the main reason he hasn't seen them as much since we got married is that he no longer goes to their house to do laundry. So, feeling a little bit falsely accused but letting it go, because I have no idea where this comment came from and so I'm trying not to get all pissy for no reason. However....

DH did point out to him that we are concerned about how well his mother does not get around. She is morbidly obese and has horrible knees. She has a handicap sticker. She can hardly walk, so we have concerns about her carrying the babies. T's step-dad reassured him that he is concerned about that, too, and will make sure the babies are in saucers or he's the one always doing the carrying.

I myself think this is all WAY premature. We aren't even out of our first trimester yet and she wants to buy car seats and cribs for HER house. While I appreciate their enthusiasm and know they will be excellent grandparents someday, I want to have kids for me, for us, for our family. I don't see me popping them out and dumping them at her house every weekend. Plus, I've spent days researching car seats. I would much prefer that she use the ones we buy. But even then, I asked T, Where does she plan on taking them? It's bizarre to me.

I have a couple other issues surrounding this deal. The first of which is that I'm super controlling in normal every day life. I am. I am organized. Efficient. I get stuff done, my way. I know that when I'm insecure, I become even more controlling. And I know that when we have two newborns at home that I will be even moreso. I will be worried about being a good mom and uncomfortable in my new role, so I will want to control every variable in the beginning. It's a part of who I am under normal healthy circumstances, so I think everyone should anticipate that when we do have kids. I will be a control freak of a mother, at first. As I become more confident and secure in that role, then I'll let up and become less b*tchy. But if you're already accusing me of shutting you out of the kids' life and they aren't even viable yet, then I think maybe I'm not the only one with a control issue. Hmmmmmm.

Sorry, just had to vent about that. I know they are excited. My MIL has been asking us when we were going to have babies since before we were married. And about a month before we found out we were pg had mentioned some backyard playground thing she wanted to buy. I love my MIL. She is wonderful and accepting and would have never made the comment to T that his step father did today. But she has also made me feel pressured to produce grandkids. That can be her one flaw.


I found a new blog today, the Foster Family, which I thought was going to be about a family who took care of foster kids. But I guess their last name must be foster. They're having twin girls any day/week now. It was a google reader recommendation. Anyway, she had this picture there, so I made one for us. I had to delete the boy because everytime I create it, he has red hair (no offense!) but here is the girl. I'm thinking of trying the boy again with a different pic of us.


JamieD said...

Hooray for nausea and exhaustion!!

I am sorry to hear about the pressure you feel from your in-laws. I think becoming parents and grandparents will be an adjustment for everyone. My in-laws are great, but every now and then I will get a glimpse of something that makes me think it will be difficult for us when the babies come.

Anonymous said...

When we have kids they will NEVER be left alone with either of our way, no how. If they don't like it, too bad, they're our kids and we've waited long enough for them to just leave them in (what we feel) could be an unsafe environment.