Monday, January 31, 2011

One Third Success

Haven't been on the scale in a few days. I try to avoid it during AF and also because I've been focusing on other things. That's why I'm thinking I'm one third success. I don't want to belittle what I've changed. I've found something that works for me for breakfast. For one third of my day. And its a healthy choice, that tastes delicious and doesn't feel like I'm dieting. I'm also doing good during the week at lunch. Frozen lean cuisine or some other variety that can be consumed at my desk without adding stress or guilt to my day. In the evenings, I continue to experiment with ways to make my favorite recipes lower calorie and lower in fat. Tonight was lasagna. And I had my 1.5 servings instead of 2.

I have not been on the treadmill. I have not been watching my motivational new fat shows. And I have not been reading my spark emails. Mostly.

In the past, I would have considered this failure. But I'm hoping if I redefine it as progress than I won't give up on it so fast. That I'll still with the success I've found and build on it instead of throwing it away. It's this crazy thinking I have about perfectionism. Like somehow if I'm not anorexic, then I should just be half bulemic (binge and not purge).

So what got me off track? Well, my boss was gone from work last week. So, I busted by butt on days I was hoping would be slacking. And we didn't close on our house on Friday, so I had the stress you've already read about with the finance guy. For the record, we didn't close today either. And now we're staring down a big snowstorm which may delay our closing again if we can't get to the title office. And I had my period. And was super bitchy, which you already know. And so I just indulged a little bit. But not as much as I would have in the past. Not making excuses, just actually trying to implement some of the thinking I read in one of those spark people emails.

Not sure when I'll get back on the treadmill. Maybe after we close on thse house. I just really needed a few moments to myself tonight, to sit, watch Desperate Housewives, and drink some Captain Morgan.

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