Sucky Day

Snow day today in North Texas. The boys are napping. DH is on his laptop working beside me. And there apparently are no salt trucks to help melt the ice on the roads so everything is closed and everyone is home.

Our house closing has been moved yet again, to tomorrow, hopefully, though no one will commit. Seriously?! What is this, the drunken sailer school of home closings? I'm just ready to be done with it. Read to move and to get settled into our new life. It doesn't help that the boys are home from pre-school cooped up with me and DH in our 865-sq-ft condo. Yowza!

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My BFF K is suffering another miscarriage. She went to her OB today. No heartbeat. She had told me about the pregnancy a few weeks ago. Scared. Worried about money. She had two miscarriages, then her son the Wy-Guy, another miscarriage, and then miss A. And now this. She declared bankruptcy last year and was seriously sweating the third child and what that would do to her marriage, her goals for the future, etc. And slowly, over the past few weeks, she had to emotionally prepare herself for another child, that even though she considers herself to have a 33% success rate, that this still might be one that stuck. And now that she got herself worked into the place she needed to be. It is gone. Another life ripped from her womb. And another D&C starting at home, suffering at home, before they finally take her in.

She is experiencing every emotion you would expect right now. Even guilt that she wasn't more excited sooner, even though she knows that didn't cause this. And it just sucks. I'm so sorry my friend has to go through this. The emotional roller coaster. The loss of something she didn't even want. But it was there, fleeting, for a moment, a couple of weeks. And now it will fuck with her mind for months, if not years. Along with her other children who have not been carried to term. Very sobering. Even all these miles away from her.

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Another friend from work suffered a tragic loss this weekend. She had recently gone through a very painful divorce from her high school sweetheart with whom she has a 4-year old daughter. Her ex was accused, and basically admitted, to molesting a 12-year old relative. Now imagine the mind games that will play on you?! So, she started dating this other guy who was a cowboy who rode professional rodeo. He was riding this weekend while she and her daughter were watching, fell off his horse and hit his head on a tree killing him instantly. My friend attempted to revive him. Hadn't she been through enough already? Why did she have to lose again, and have to be there to witness the tragic end? It's such a sucky day.