184.6

Wowza. I weight 184.6. Which is down 3 pounds from last week, but still scary.

I have been tracking my food every.single.day on Livestrong. And I've only missed one day on the treadmill. Not bad for the sedentary girl I've been since fall. I've been reading the daily emails from sparkpeople. Still eating til I'm full, but making lower calorie or lower fat content choices. Not huge sweeping changes, but hopefully something I can stick with. I have a trip to Vegas at the end of March for work, so I'm hoping to be down to 175 by that time. Wouldn't be ready to buy new clothes, but at least fit in the clothes I own better by that time.

According to livestrong, I weighed 175 a year ago. Wow, I really did let myself go this past year. It started with all the travel for work, then the radiation and crappy low-iodine diet, then just the move and all the stress of our new life and then DH going back to work. All excuses, I know. But I used food to relax and deal with the stress. And it was just one less thing to be responsible for if I ate whatever was easy and convenient. The truth is, though, that the diet I'm following right now isn't all that inconvenient. I think most of my better choices have just been in awareness - once you start logging your food intake, you're more conscious of everything you put in your body.

And the treadmill, that has been a HUGE help. I haven't researched it, but I feel like since I had my thyroid out, my metabolism is SO much better if I exercise. Earlier this year, DH and I took the boys on walks almost every day, and though its still warmer in Dallas than up north, its too cold to take the boys for 40-minute walks outside. And I had joined the gym when I first moved to Dallas, thinking I would work out at lunch. Which I did exactly two times. And realized I need my lunch hour for work. I'm not always at my store, I don't always take the time to leave for lunch, and usually just eat at my desk while working or paying a bill. So the treadmill is a way for me to get exercise given my current lifestyle. If DH picks up the boys from preschool, then I drive straight home from work and am done about 5 minutes after they get home. If I have to pick up the boys, then I try to walk right after they go to bed. So, I don't miss any time with them, and I don't feel guilty like its some burden to DH.

So, instead of thinking of all the reasons why I "can't" exercise or eat right, and instead of trying some crazy fad diet, I am trying to make small changes and focus on what I "can" do right now to change the shape of my body, and to make sure I life a long, healthy life.

I was also motivated by being around my mother over the holiday. She doesn't exercise. Never did. And when she visited last fall, she commented on how active we were (still love the image of her hunting for an ashtray on the trail by the lake!). She is only 58, but she acts to me like she's 78, slowing down and has a hard time keeping up with us. Because of our education and IF, we had the boys later than my mom had me. And so I want to be even healthier than she is, at an even later age. If I'm going to be the active senior I want to be, then I need to be healthy today.

Plus, I'm vain. And I want to look good in some new clothes.