Bitchy

I've been really bitchy the past 24 hours. Really bitchy. It all started yesterday when I was trying to leave the office and everyone waited until the last minute to pester me, as I was running out the door to a meeting. And in the midst of all that the broker who we are financing our home through sends me an email saying he's worried about these documents that we haven't received yet from our bank in Wichita, blah blah blah. This is about the 10th time he's sent me a vague email that just rubs me the wrong way. I'm not sure if its because he's so indirect, or his tone is just accusatory but I came unglued. I called him immediately after getting in my car to go to my meeting and ripped him, without cussing or name calling, but being definitely short and irate that he's making me feel this stress and just tell me what you want. Tell me what I'm doing wrong, etc. etc. etc. I got the paperwork to him last night. But I FUCKING HATE HIM and if our closing wasn't in two days I WOULD FUCKING FIRE HIS ASS!!!!! Before hitting send last night, I kept telling DH how I wanted to add p.s. I FUCKING HATE YOU. Which is what I went to bed repeating to myself. Today, every time I thought about it, I could feel my blood begin to boil yet again. And right now my muscles are all tense and my jaw is set and I wish he was here so I could punch him in the face.

The next victim is our current preschool. I can't remember whether or not I've bitched here about how many days they're closed. My DH had to take days off unpaid at Christmas. I've had to take several days of vacation for teacher in service days. Tonight, I mentioned that we were buying a house and would be moving, but Miss Kimberly please don't take it personally when we move the boys to a new school, we just need something more convenient to our new home. She said, "That's life." Um.....do you hate my precious little sons? Every one at that pre school usually exclaims when they see the boys, and tells us how adorable and smart they are, and how helpful little Will is all day. He's like his mommy - not even two years old yet and already stacking the chairs in the lunchroom. Very.Task.Oriented. Anyway, no one would give me a clear answer about whether or not they are open for Spring Break. And finally the teacher called the director, and they are open but there's an extra fee. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!? I'm already paying for that week, why should I have to pay more?! These people get more days off than I do from work!

I had already taken advantage of MLK (yet another day they had off) to tour four pre schools in our price range near our new home. Unfortunately, they were all scary. Yes, scary. And I'm not that picky. So, I've increased our budget by several hundred dollars and will be touring 5 places before our closing this Friday, so I can give our notice this Friday at our current daycare and the boys can start at their new place on March 1.

They may be very good for the boys. But their location is out of the question once we move. But I'm wanting to move up the change because the communication is just so poor. Are you going to be open or not? Are you going to miss my boys or just their tuition?!

Miss Kimberly asked me tonight what we do with Will at home? Um, well, we love him, we read to him, we play ball, we talk, he puts together puzzles. He's two. What do you mean? And then, Miss Patty the weird lady who sits at the front desk who is so sad to see us go tells me how much Will has improved and how great they have done there and how he struggled to adjust to the structure there. Um, hello?! He struggled?! He's been going there full time since Thanksgiving. Why wasn't I told he was struggling? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I'M JUST TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY BITCHY TONIGHT. BAD BAD HORMONAL RAGE. PROTECT YOURSELVES - KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!!!!!

And then wish me luck in the pre school search! I want to find a permanent place for the boys that will offer after school care that they can attend even after they start elementary school in 3.75 years. That's what I had. And I definitely don't want to be scrambling for something. I want them to be able to go somewhere familiar.