Friday, April 24, 2009

Setback

The boys are two weeks old today. We had a weight check at the pediatrician's, and then I had my incision check at the OB this morning. It's only 1pm now, but I feel like we've had a full day already!

The boys had been off of their 2-hour feeding schedule since Tuesday. However, Jack only maintained his weight and Will lost 2 ounces. So, we are now on a 3-hour feeding schedule - day and night. Which means I had to reprint the spreadsheet for tracking their intake. And most notably, means I will be getting less sleep, again. And worrying about why my babies are failing to thrive for the next week or so.

The breastfeeding, well, hmmmm. I get the boys to latch for one feeding a day, but I worry it isn't enough and they still seem hungry after that, so they end up eating their full bottle of formula shortly thereafter. The pumping doesn't seem to get done more than once or twice per day, so the volume I am able to pump each time has fallen off from 3 ounces per side, to 1. My big dream is to keep the pumping alive (even at this tiny amount) until I go back to work in another month, and then increase my volume by pumping morning, noon, and night in the parking lot. Gross? Maybe. But a definite benefit to daycare - free time!

In other news, my visit with my mother here is going way better than I had expected. She still says the most awful things. But I guess I am just so grateful to have the help, that I have become stellar at holding my tongue. She means well, and doesn't know how she sounds. I know that. But sometimes I'd like to scream in her face. And I know she bites her tongue, too. We are just so different. So, so different.

For example, today she asked me how I intend to lose the baby weight. I told her I hadn't thought about doing much more than taking care of the boys, but I hoped to take them for walks in the neighborhood in the stroller. To which, she replied, "I think its going to take more than that." Which to me, is code for, you're a fat ass. So, when I told her she didn't need to share any more helpful comments on that topic, she falsely apologized in a very masterful sarcastic tone. I told her I only have about 25 pounds to go, and I'm not worried about it. I should point out she's about 30 pounds overweight herself, so it is exceptionally hard to hear her criticize my weight.

Or, when I vented about my in laws, she suggested that maybe THEY were afraid of ME. No, don't validate your daughter or tell her she'll be okay, she'll get through this difficult time. No, a good mother would apparently suggest that her daughter is the source of the problem, and is indeed, scary. Nice, huh?

And now, yet another picture of the twins:


1 comment:

JamieD said...

I'm so sorry to hear the boys aren't gaining weight and are back on a 3-hour feeding schedule. But you know what? For all you went through to get pregnant with Will and Jack, carrying them to 38 weeks then caring for twins at home with a less than supportive mother - I am in awe of how well you are doing. I literally read your blog and think you are Super Woman!!

And you've created a feeding spreadsheet?!?! Wow!