I'm ready ... or at least I'm getting there...

I have been wondering whether or not I was ready to begin a new cycle. I mean, I've been so distracted with living and living it up during this break from cycles, that I really hadn't had much time to think about it. And I was wondering whether or not I could get back. But now that AF has reared her ugly head, I can feel it creeping back in. I can feel myself getting into this cycle, getting hopeful, getting interested in bloodwork and my protocol. I can feel myself slowing down.

Here's one for you: I only had two feminine products in the house, because each month, I only buy enough supplies for that month. I guess that means I have hope. Or I'm cheap. I just think that maybe I won't be needing these for awhile, so maybe I'll just get the one. But this month its totally biting me on the bottom. I'm down to one. I have cramps and don't feel like going to the store. I'd ask DH and I'm sure he'd be willing to buy them, but I never have asked him in all of our years together (8) and even if I did send him, he'd probably buy the wrong kind. I'll be okay. I'm about to go dig through my briefcase to see if I've got any stashed in there. And I used to have an emergency supply in my trunk, but I drove my company car home. Seriously, I'm kind of a mess.

Anyway...

I got home from a day trip out of town for work and have been making up my to do list for my weekend, and my list of questions/information for tomorrow's baseline appointment. I want to be sure I'm reading my protocol right - it looks like follistim in the morning and menopur in the afternoon for 5 days. That's a new one for me. I also need to swap out that nasty pic of me and DH in their file, so I've got that stuck in my spiral notebook. If you're lucky, they'll give me the 'bad' pic and I'll post it here tomorrow. Wish me luck! Because seriously, who doesn't love a horrible picture of someone else?

But I also feel myself slipping back into the symptom side of this, as well. I have cramps today, which I have been treating with ibuprofen. I know, I know, I shouldn't do that. But here's my reasoning. See if you can follow - For one, they hurt so stinking bad and I had to run these meetings today, and I seriously could not explain to these dudes that I was doubled over at the table, breathing through my mouth and clenching my fists because I can only take Tylenol and my uterus was falling out. Secondly, aren't baseline appointments supposed to be on CD3? Well, I got my period today, so tomorrow would only be CD2, so I thought the ibuprofen might expedite the thinning of my lining so its super thin for tomorrow's appointment. Kind of a jump start to make it appear more like CD3 on the vag cam....

Enough rationalizing, you probably don't hate me for taking ibuprofen, but I've obviously got guilt. Back to the symptom management. I have had serious hunger today, so I've ordered a pizza and plan to lay in bed watching Tivo and eating it. Don't worry, I called DH and ordered him one too, which he can enjoy when he gets home from work later on. I'm an equal opportunity sloth.

In other news, I called the center with our deposit today. Yikes! That number always scares me. This better work! But I also got my refund check from insurance today for the meds that arrived last week. With my plan, I get my meds from Freedom and put it on my credit card, then submit claim to my insurance and they reimburse me in full. Yeah for insurance paying for at least some of this!

The other items on my IVF to-do list include the purchase of carbs for the stim phase - Coca Cola and Honey Teddy Grahams are staples for me during stims. I haven't decided what else yet. Last time, I had non-stop cravings for swiss cake rolls. I also need to be sure I've got plenty of entertainment. Alas, the book I borrowed from the library sucks, so I need to actually go to Barnes and Noble and buy a book in preparation for bed rest. I ordered some DVD's last week that still have not arrived, but bed rest is at least a week away, so I should be okay there. I've still got my meditation CD's that were recommended to me by Pee Sticks and Stones forever ago (read: April). I'm kind of looking forward to getting past the first one! And last but not least, I've got plenty of 'light days' for the CM that is sure to be flowing.

I think that's everything, isn't it? This has all creeped up on me and I feel like I'm forgetting something....