Tuesday Night in Tulsa

I'm in Tulsa for work. Just checked into my room and flipped on the t.v. Law & Order is featuring an infertile woman, apparently a control freak who had everything but the baby she always desired. Sound familiar? Anyway, totally missing my Tivo tonight. Think I'll flip over to Work Out.

I called the RE's office yesterday about my spotting (which continues today), and they were not concerned. Said that I could have spotting for up to three months after going on the pill. Mysteriously, I've never had this symptom before. But, I'm not going to obsess about that. What I am going to obsess about is that I'm supposed to call when AF arrives this month, now I'm worried that I won't be able to tell AF from all this spotting.

I ended up filing an insurance claim for the vandalism to my car. I'm hoping it will all be repaired by the time DH and I return from our family vacation next week. Please! I just want to move on, and forget about it!

This week is my annual summer family vacation with my parents, siblings, our spouses, and their kids. Yes, I am the only sibling without children. No, I am not the youngest. I don't normally feel like I stand out because of this. They are all incredibly supportive. And I absolutely adore my nieces and nephews. I look forward to this trip all year.

Last fall, we were stimming during a family get together, so DH and I stayed home to watch the kids while my siblings went to the bar. Somebody sober had to stay home! We woke up in the morning, with my nephew B. between us, who was 6 at the time. Before he had even opened his eyes, he reached up on the head board, picked up his Capri Sun, sucked on it, and then stated, "Too bad you guys don't have any kids!" Our only response was to look wide eyed at one another and give that little guy a hug.

I wonder if he picked up on adult conversations that weekend. We had talked about stims quite a bit. Or is it something that children pick up on? Or, did he just wish we would give him someone to play with? Not sure.

Nevertheless, I am totally excited for this weekend. Cannot wait to see their faces and just hang with my fam. Woo Hoo!!!

***

In other IF news, DH and I are strongly considering becoming foster parents.

I haven't given up on us having a child of our own, but I think that in the meantime there is definitely room in our life for a child or children. So, after some internet surfing and foster mom blog lurking, I called a couple agencies this morning. I'm excited to get the information packets and maybe even attend a class. I need to talk to some other foster parents in town, so I know why they would pick one agency over another. There have to be some positives/negatives to each one.

DH's only concern is attachment. But otherwise, he's all, "Let's go for it!" which is so wonderful, to be on the same page. I just feel like this could be our ministry at this time in our life, our way to share our faith and to be a positive force in the world. I feel called to do this. And I'm excited to get started.

I'm looking forward to learning more about attachment and all the other issues surrounding foster parenting. I want to go in with my eyes wide open, but I also don't want to be talked out of it. I don't want to be in denial about how hard this can be, I have heard horror stories. I understand this will be hard work. I understand it will be emotionally draining. But I also think we are uniquely qualified to provide a stable, temporary home environment to a child. Anyway, super excited, so had to share that here.

I'm not ready to tell the fam about the foster parenting thing yet. My boss has been less than supportive. Mostly concern about the behavioral issues we may have to confront. So, I'm playing these cards a little close to my chest for now. Maybe we will announce when we have a placement. That won't be for months anyway, so no rush in telling the fam. Just had to tell y'all.