I was depressed last night after looking at my Stocks, so I called Lifeline.
Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan .
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I had a bad pregnancy nightmare last night. I was walking on wet concrete and fell, twice. And my mucous plug started to come out with little streaks of blood in it. And I woke up at 2am from this dream, and had to talk myself into a calm state. Do you ever have those dreams where you are so into it that you have to wake up and tell yourself It was just a dream. It wasn't real. Everything is still okay. But then I couldn't get back to sleep after that, so I moved to the couch to get away from DH's heavy breathing. And I laid awake on the couch with my mind racing for over an hour before I was able to get back to sleep. That's be about enough of the insomnia and bad dreams.
My Sister In Law discovered today that she is unexpectedly pregnant. She originally tested on a 5-year old pee stick that she found in her garage. She didn't have the instructions anymore, so she couldn't read it. I think she knew in her heart that she was, but needed my sister and I to encourage her to go buy another stick. Which she did. And which was positive.
She's really struggling with the reality of this right now. She's not happy right now, but she'll get there. She's concerned about the stress on their marriage, the stress on their finances, the change to their lifestyle. They have two boys - who are 7 and 5 and are perfect. I'm thrilled, because they have the best kids! I tried to convince her that her doubts are normal, that's its really soon and early and she'll get there. I think she was feeling guilty about not being more excited, like she was with the first two.
I do not think I could have been so supportive had we not got our BFP, were we not pregnant with our twins. I may have been bitter, I would have tried to be supportive, but I would have been hurt. They will be great parents, and this new niece or nephew will be a great playmate for our kids. And it will be another member of my family, who will be a blessing. My SIL will get there. My brother is already. It's just a big day for them. And I'm so glad that I'm HERE and not where I was, so I can appreciate it with a heart full of love, and without any creeping resentment in the background.