So, today was an eventful day. I have two projects which I feel need completed at our home for us to enjoy it completely, and before we could sell it - we need a mantel for our fireplace and a front sidewalk. The mantel, we tore down at least 3 years ago and then never had a new one built. The sidewalk was ripped up two years ago when we had our yard re-graded to drain AWAY from the house. This whole drainage idea is apparently a novel concept that eluded the planners of our development in the 70s. But I digress.
These projects have been on hold as my husband works 24/7/365 and I have traveled 5 out of 7 days of every week (except while stimming!) of the past year. DH certainly wasn't going to call a contractor. But today, it all came together. The mantel will be installed tomorrow, sanded, stained, sanded again, and sealed by Sunday. And the sidewalk will be in tomorrow. In fact, the grass has already been dug up where the sidewalk will be. And we even have enough money in savings to pay for it all. Woo-hoo!
In other progress news, my mood has lightened. The sun is shining. The temp is up. And I may finally be over my winter 'funk'. I have more energy. I took time for relationship building, not just task completion at work. I read an email forward that was a joke, instead of instantly deleteing it and scoffing at the sender in my head for insulting me with the insinuation that I had time for 'fun'. I have hours of Tivo recorded, but I don't feel like watching t.v. I even wrote my grandpa a letter this evening. It's like I'm on meth.
So, is it Spring? Is the change in temperature and daylight hours the cause for my spirits being lifted? Is it the inspirational speech I heard at breakfast downtown or the time management class I hosted yesterday?
I'm more than a little afraid its the month sans cycle. Or maybe just my hormones kind of balancing out after the badmington tournament I've been playing in there with suppression, no stim!, now suppression!
And lastly, for progress sake, I have resigned myself that our next cycle will be IVF, not IUI. We have this money in a flexible savings account that will just magically 'go away' on August 31 if we don't spend it. Even if I didn't have cysts and I could run 4 IUI's back to back, it wouldn't nearly be enough to use up that money by the deadline. So, it's the first time in our four years of IF that I'm making a choice solely based on the financial aspect. Not how I feel, not what I want, not my level of optimism or the doctor's recommendations. Just pure money. If I don't spend it, I'll lose it. The rub is that for me, IUI's are so much faster and easier and less emotionally invasive and involved. But, just by writing this out and owning it, I feel better, like some emotional progress is being made, and I'm confident this is the best financial decision. And who knows?! It might even work!