Friday, May 1, 2009

I'm not Schizophrenic

Ok, I'm not schizophrenic. I know if you've read my thoughts about breastfeeding lately, that you might think I was.

I was committed to a month of breastfeeding, but its done. After pumping several times on Wednesday - more than I had done since we left the hospital - I got a total of 2 ounces. And it was stressing me out, trying to pump every time the boys were resting. And then yesterday, well, I never got around to pumping. So, last night, I decided to bite the bullet. I put the pump back in the box. I bagged up all the tubes and other containers. I put them all away so they couldn't look at me anymore. And I sighed to myself ... maybe next time, if we only have one.

I'm disappointed, but I knew it could come to this. Lots of people never even try. I did. And I did everything I could. And as my grandmother reassured me, they got the best, the beginning. So, breastfeeding is now a dead topic. Let's move on.

***
The boys and I had our first solo outing yesterday, to Target. One car seat in the cart, the other on the basket and we were ready to roll. They behaved beautifully. I bought three things. Pads. Coffee. Thank You's.
We had our second outing this morning, to the pediatrician's office, in the rain. The boys have now each gained over a pound. So, we were approved to go off the 3-hour feeding schedule. Which rocks. Except that so far today, they've fed on demand every 2 hours. I really only care about the nightime. Anyway, I was delighted that Jack is now well over 8 pounds, and Will is almost there.
The best part of the pediatrician's office was the nurse who did our weight check gave us about a week's worth of formula samples, several coupons, and enrollment in a multiples' club which will send us two 6-pack cases of formula as well. She also said to ask for samples every time we're in the office. So, we netted like $150 from today's trip.
***
I have made an appointment with my thyroid surgeon, to get that surgery scheduled. He will check to see how much my tumor has grown on May 11th. I was able to put it out of my mind while I was pregnant and couldn't do anything about it, but I feel fully recovered from the c section and I'm ready to get this taken care of so I don't have this black cloud following 5 feet behind me at all times.
***
DH and I have a photoshoot planned for tomorrow afternoon. Our friend is a photographer and she will be coming to our home. I can't wait to see the pictures, to capture their precious little selves before they get any bigger. And then....I can finally send out announcements!

2 comments:

She said...

*hugs* on the BFing. I tried too, and it is so hard to make the decision that you just can't do it. You feel like a failure, but you're NOT. You have a lot on your plate right now, and if it was more than you could handle, it's okay.

JamieD said...

What great news! Congrats on the weight gain and the solo outing.

I can't wait to see pics . . .