Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Fashion Rules to Live By

  1. Do not mix leathers -if you wear black leather shoes, you'd better not even THINK about that brown leather belt!

  2. Do wear shoes that match your pants (makes you look taller and thinner, thank you Oprah, circa 1990)

  3. Do not mix metals (i.e. silver and gold) Blech!

  4. Do not wear black with blue (one exception: you can wear black with denim).

  5. Do wear black whenever possible.

  6. Do avoid patterns at all costs. Solids are classic. And define class.

  7. Do not give it all away. If you're showing some up top, wear pants. If you're in a short skirt, put the girls away. A mystery is always in style. A floozy is not.

  8. Do not ever, yes, that's right, never, leave home in sandals without a pedicure. Don't even get me started on sandals with socks! And when it comes to pedi's, french is timeless and never clashes.

  9. Do not wear jeans with a high waist. Burn any jeans that have a 'yoke'. (In other words, no mom jeans... "But these are Lee's." )

  10. Throw away all of the above if you are undergoing IF treatments. Then, drag out your baggiest and rattiest comfy sweatshirt and those elastic-waist-band pants. It would help if you gained 5-10 pounds in your boobs, front butt, and face to maximize the 'swollen' look. Of course, you can't forget the granny panties with the requisite light day pad for all the cervical mucus and/or progesterone suppository residue. And true IF fashion whores will even discontinue the application of makeup and wear their hair in what is commonly referred to as a "pony tail."

These are just some of MY fashion rules, what are yours?


E_Sharp said...

I completely agree with all of these. May I add:

Make sure your pants are long enough. "Flood" is not a valid pants length. You should not be able to see the tops of the back of your shoes, even when in mid-stride.

It takes a special person to wear jeans and a denim anything else, and odds are, you aren't them. One denim item at a time.

(Jeans with a YOKE? Good heavens!)

sarbear said...

I 100% agree with all of those. I'd like to add:

Just because they make something in your size, doesn't mean you should wear it! (I.E. booty shorts in a size 24)

Duck said...

Yup no makeup, loose clothes is the way to go.... but, for some reason everyone comes to my clinic looking like they are in a fashion race...

DC said...

LOL at this list! My hubby showed up for one of our first dates wearing a brown belt with black pants and black shoes. I gave him an earful about matching, and he hasn't made the mistake since! Men are pretty clueless, huh?

seriously? said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I do have some fashion rules and fashion rules I break all of the time (and I know it is wrong to do so).

I agree with all of yours although I do wear prints but mostly pinstripe, and some tweed. If it is a true pattern it is stuck to a shirt under a suit or a scarf.

* No mini skirts and ugg boots, it just seems silly
* No sheer bras with sheer blouses (yes people at my office wear this and I see nipple)
* Brush your hair before work and don't just let it dry "however"
* When working from home try to get out of PJs by noon
* Always look sort of business casual at the RE consults,any treatment appointments - no rules :)

Gabrielle said...

I am heading to my pedi in an hour because I cannot stand disobeying that particular rule.

Your rules are fab. I can only think of one more:

Never, never, NEVER, is it appropriate to wear flip flops in the office. NEVER.

Pepper said...

-Just because you can squeeze an item of clothing onto your body does NOT mean it fits!

-The muffin top is a bakery treat, not a fashion trend.

-Elastic is NOT your friend. Unless you're cycling, and then it may be your only friend.

Thanks for visiting my blog! :-)

margalit said...

My only fashion must is, make sure you're wearing clothes when you go outside. I've been known to go galivanting around my yard in my PJs.

Here from NCLM.

~Jess said...

haha...too funny. I'm all for the no makeup, pony-tail, loose clothes look.

Duck: They do that at my clinic too. All the women are skinny, dressed to the nines, and look like supermodels!

Here via NCLM

sara said...

So true on all the fashion rules, and the infertility and IVF ones. During our IVF cycle this spring my motto was yoga pants (one size bigger than usual) is a girl's best friend! You have me cringing at the thought of "mom jeans", ohhh shudder the thought! They should be outlawed, because they only make a booty look bigger and longer! Thanks for making me laugh, I could use it and it worked like a charm! (from NCLM)

PJ said...

I found these pants with an elastic waist at Eddie Bauer that don't really look like they have an elastic waist! So perfect for fertility treatment bloat!

Nit said...

This post is hilarious!

I am starting IVF #1 & will be sure to heed your advice :)

Oh & IF or not, those pants are just scary!