Friday, November 19, 2010

Horrible Sadness

Today started like any other day this week. Aggressive schedule. Contractor meetings. Chauffering the owners of our company around town. I was feeling really good about all my boss and I had accomplished in the past two weeks. I was excited to go have some beer with him, and debrief from our big day of meetings, and debate the pros and cons of our top two choices.

On my way to the beer joint, I called the office to let them know I wouldn't be coming in today. It was just before 3pm.

And everything stopped.

One of our dear employees, J, never came back from lunch. She had an aneurysm at lunch. All by herself. A treat she gave herself on pay days. Her favorite little Italian place a few blocks from the office. She began vomiting, and collapsed. She never regained consciousness. This evening, after she was transferred to a better trauma center, they performed tests and found no brain activity. Someday tonight or tomorrow, her family will take her off of life support.

The true irony is that one month ago to the day, her ex-husband - the one true love of her life and father of her only child - killed himself. One.Month.To.The.Day.

And now their adult daughter has to try to live. With all this tragedy.

And I'll never see her again. Never be able to tell her how much we appreciate her. How important she is to our success. How we treasure her as a person. It's just all over. In an instant.

When her ex-husband died, I debated whether or not I should go to the funeral. I'm an outsider here. I moved here when my company 'bought' this company, acquired these employees. I didn't know if she would want me there or not. But I don't often get much opportunity to tell these employees that I value them as people, so I went to the funeral. On a Saturday. Even though it pretty much eliminated half of my quality time with the boys for that weekend. Looking back, I'm so glad I went. I thanked her here and there, but I never got to tell her how important she was to me. Hopefully that one small gesture gave her some sort of an idea of how important she was to me. I hope.

I thought venting all these thoughts here would make it more real to me, but its not. I just can't hardly believe its true. I can't believe she's gone. And I'm just so so sad.

1 comment:

Jamie said...

It is shocking that life can end so quickly, so abruptly, for someone so full of life. I think when someone is sick or elderly, it is sometimes easier to justify their end or even just prepare for it.

My heart breaks for her daughter. No one should have that burden on their shoulders.