Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Lil Bit o Depression

I can feel some depression sinking in. It happens from time to time when all I want to do is lay in bed and EAT. Which is basically all I did during fertility treatments and pregnancy and radiation. So, for a long time, it just looked like fertility treatments, pregnancy and radiation. But I know its mild depression. I know it is.

So, I lay here, in bed, watching a reality show marathon while my husband is in the living room with our two boys. I'm hoping a night off will get me by. I'm hoping I can talk myself out of this. But really, all I want to do is eat and lay in this bed and fast forward through commercials on my Tivo.

But I actually have work to do. To make up. From being off two days last week (friends from MN in town visiting). And for leaving early tomorrow.

At Will's two-year well visit, his pediatrician found some fluid in his left testicle. So....we have our surgical consult tomorrow. I am hoping it is a simple hydrocele and that a simple outpatient procedure will cure it. Please pray for good things tomorrow afternoon.

In other news, Will has become a terror of a two year old. Tonight, he is a dream - sweet and funny and interacting with everyone well except for when he threw his plate on the floor at dinner. But this morning, he stood outside our bedroom door behind which was my showering husband and screamed "mommy" (because that's what he's calling daddy these days) and threw himself against the door and banged his fists on the door and kicked and cried and pushed his brother down. First.Thing.This.Morning. So, I was exhausted from that ordeal before my day even began.

I know he has a strong will. I have the same personality. I know this year will be rough and that all two-year olds need to assert their individuality. There will be time outs - for him and for me. And I guess that I'm having one for me tonight.


Sarah Johnson said...

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you. I hope you're feeling better and will say prayers for Will. Your boys are adorable by the way. And if it makes you feel any better to know someone else's kid is a handful, Marleigh has been throwing impressive temper tantrums lately. I totally feel your pain!

Jamie said...

Yes, we Moms need time outs, too. I love Skeeter so much but there are moments when I don't feel like I'm going to make it until he goes to visit his dad next. These next few years will be interesting for sure.

I hope Will's consultation went well!

Be gentle with yourself - you've been through a LOT in the last few years and handled it better than most.