Friday, July 17, 2009

Viral Infection

So, I somehow picked up the flu this week. Was shocked to find myself vomiting at 3:30am. So, I called my PCP and was able to get in this morning. Fortunately, he has been cc'd on all of my treatments lately so he knew everything about the twins, the thyroid-ectomy, and my radiation therapy. I found that very reassuring. Especially since I'm not normally sick and hadn't seen him since....well....probably back when my husband was first diagnosed with his varicocele. So, 2 or 3 years.

It was nice to see him, and his nurse. He diagnosed me with a viral infection (common flu). Treating with 36 ounces Gatorade, a prescription to combat the trots, and ... unfortunately ... back to bland foods. The RX is working already, which is wonderful. And I've kept down all my food plus the Gatorade. So, life is good.

It turns out good that I could see him, so we could discuss how he will manage my thyroid replacement until I see the endocrinologist in October. We worked out a plan for labs on the weekend, and appointment with him on Tuesday evening which should help me avoid missing too much work.

Did I mention that he's totally hot? And the first thing he said when he came in the exam room was he liked my hair? Yes, cursed with another great hair day during isolation. I got bored and straightened it yesterday. At least SOMEBODY got to see it.

I also got a TSH test, which will be my measurement of how my thyroid is being suppressed and replaced now for life. I need it to be .1 to .2 and after two days on the hormone, it is still at a 70. Which may explain why I'm still gaining weight even though everything I eat goes straight through or comes back up.

I had been feeling guilty about how little work is actually being accomplished in this house this week. My focus is improving, but I am still not as productive as I would like to be. But I remembered how much I worked during maternity leave. Probably 1-2 hours every day. So, given 6 weeks of leave, at 10 hours a week, then I probably had accrued about 60 hours of comp time anyway. Being back in the office next week will definitely get me back on track. At least I hope.
Yesterday was a really weepy day. I am blaming the thyroid hormone. After DH left with the boys for daycare yesterday, I was struck by this image of him raising them without me. Just typing it makes me tear up again. Anyway, I was hyperventilating, all out bawling in the shower with fear. I'm strong. And most days I'm rational. But when I open myself up to the emotional reality of a cancer diagnosis, I'm scared. I don't want to die.


G$ said...

Wow, I wish I had a PCP that knew who I was let alone read my file!

Glad you are feeling a bit better from the flu. Hang in there lady, those boys are going to be raised by both of you.


Pepper said...

I hope you're feeling better, both physically and emotionally. I'm sorry this is so scary. You are stronger and braver than you know. I realize that's not really comforting; I just want you to know that I admire your strength.


Sushilover said...

I agree with G! Hang in there. You were meant to be a mommy to those two boys! Glad you had another great hair day :) When I think of what you're going through I feel like such a heel complaining about mine. There are more important things in life. Like health and happiness. Be strong. I know you'll make it through.

Shinejil said...

Wow, I'd be weepy and totally gloomy too, if I had that high a TSH plus a nasty flu plus two small boys to tend. That's a lot, a whole hell of a lot.

I hope you get a lot of rest and feel better soon. It will take a while for the thyroid replacement to kick in, but I bet some light and energy will come streaming in once it does.

Aunt Becky said...

Thyroid issues STINK. I have terrible problems with mine, and man, do they affect you in all sorts of ways.

JamieD said...

Now, the flu as well?!?! Give a girl a chance!

You have given me so much support lately and I am not dealing with a fraction of what you have on your plate.

You are a strong person - stronger than most I know. It would be impossible to ~not~ open your mind up to all the possibities when being handed any cancer diagnosis. Once again, you are strong, a fighter. Your husband will raise your boys with you by his side.