Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Three Things

I had my scan yesterday. Three significant things about that.

1 - I.GOT.THE.ALL.CLEAR.TO.HOLD.MY.BABIES.LAST.NIGHT. Wahooooooooooooooooo! Will decided to celebrate by being up for about two hours in the night, hanging out with mommy in the rocking chair and couch. Precious time for me, even if it was in the wee hours of the morning. Totally worth it!

2 - I had my scan at the same hospital where I had my c-section, thyroid-ectomy, and radiation. But I had never been to the nuclear medicine area before. Um...what is the deal with leaving people basically immobile on a totally thin table with whatever type of imaging hardware that is two inches from their face while random people stroll up and down the hallway and into the adjoining bathroom?

The scan tech had me potty before my scan, and as I closed the bathroom door to the adjoining room I saw what I thought was a mannequin on the table in the next room. But realized on my way out after the scan that EVERY.SINGLE.ROOM had a person, just lying there in the dark with the door wide open. It was eery and somehow wrong that the doors weren't closed. Not that you're scanned naked or even in a hospital gown. But still.

3 - I can expect my scan results via phone today or tomorrow. And that, to me, is basically a time bomb. I know that if this has spread, that the treatment I had last week is basically the treatment for anywhere else it might be. I get that. But finding out its in my lungs or breasts or brain...well, that's going to be an emotional thing to hear. Yet, here I sit with my cell phone on vibrate, constantly by my side, waiting for that bomb to go off...or not.


Jess to the Lo said...

I'm so glad you got to have some quality time with Will!

I can not imagine your anxiety level today; praying that the Big C has not spread and was wiped out.

Pepper said...

The intensity of the last year is just overwhelming. I too can't even imagine what it must be like. I'm glad you get to hold your little ones and I hope that helps to keep you strong. Sitting with you and praying for you during the wait.


JamieD said...

Yay for Mommy time with your boys! I know that time was so precious for you. Reading about how you have kept your distance makes my heart break for you.

Praying the news is good comes quickly. You are in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I'm holding my breath for you and wishing you every good thing and good news today.

I'm glad that you're getting this special time with the babies and hoping that there is some peace in that.