Tuesday, August 14, 2012

22 Hours Round Trip

After that last post, I had the opportunity to go and see some of the family I have been missing so dearly.

My step-father's brother was diagnosed with terminal lunch cancer earlier this summer.  He has been in the hospital over 80 days since May.  And yesterday, the family met with a social worker to discuss palative care.  They will be placing him in a hospice facility this week.  If he makes it that long.

It was bittersweet. 

It was sad to see such a vital man, shrunk down into a shell physically while he was still there, 100% there, mentally.  I caught myself talking to him like I would someone who wasn't actually there.  But he definitely was there.  He had light in his eyes.  He flirted with me and the nurses, oh the poor nurses, he made a hand gesture to my step-father at one point that basically said he'd like to hit that.  So funny.  So leacherous.  So strong.  And yet his body is failing him.

On the plus side, I did get to see my mother and step-father as well as my aunt and their kids.  I was able to relieve a little burden while they held their family meeting by taking my cousin's kids to the movies.  It was 22 hours alone in the car round trip from Dallas to Omaha.  I drove up on Sunday.  And back on Monday.  I had to leave when I did.  They were having serious conversations with my uncle about moving him.  And he felt betrayed that they had met with the social worker behind his back.

So, I got home at 2:30am this morning.  Slept for about 4 hours.  And now am vegging out at home, watching The Vow.  I thought a good cry and a cart full of junk food might be good for me.  Because I am already settling back into what I've now termed the Dallas Depression.

It doesn't help that my friends are so wrapped up in all the things I wrote about before and not returning my calls.  Well, not promptly anyway.  They'll probably all call this week, but I really could have used them to keep me company while I was driving.

Tomorrow, its back to work for me.  Busy day tomorrow.  I need the distraction. 32 days to go....

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