Thursday, June 4, 2009

The New Me

It seems like I can never find the time to post anything these days. And by the time I do get around to thinking about it, well, by then, I've forgotten all the things I thought I wanted to say. So although I need to return a bunch of emails, I'm going to post tonight.

Earlier tonight, I found it poignant that my life is nothing like it used to be, and yet its completely the same. I have the same job, same friends, same house, same car. But I have two more people to love, and they bring us absolute joy with every breath. Absolute. And so I'm nothing like that person I used to be, but yet I feel the same. I'm still getting used to the idea of my identity changing to include 'mom.' So weird.

Another interesting thought I had earlier, although probably not exactly p.c. is that one of the greatest gifts a man can give his wife (once they have kids) is a peaceful bowel movement. Yes, I know its gross, but seriously, being able to go to the bathroom without having to jump up to take care of crying baby or not stressing while finishing because there is a baby crying, well, that is just heaven!

I got my period yesterday which really blows. Although I am pleased that my body works, and I know many women out there are counting their cycle days go higher and higher and wondering if theirs will ever show, I still wanted to go a bit longer cramp-free. But low and behold that all too familiar feeling crept up on me, and I knew instantly what it was.

I had my pre-op appointment for my thyroid surgery today, which was total crap. Why couldn't I have had my temperature and blood pressure taken the day of my surgery? What a waste of time?! I will have my right hemisphere removed on 6/11 and if its cancerous or questionable, the other side removed on 6/12. My mother is coming to stay with DH and help him take care of the boys while I'm in the hospital (1-2 nights); and will stay until I don't need her anymore. I'm hoping to go back to work the following Monday, although I hear that is crazy talk and I should plan on two weeks. Seriously?! Two freaking weeks?! NO WAY! I'm sorry, but I was only allowed to work half days from Jan 4 - April 9, and then had 6 weeks stuck in this house. I will fight tooth and nail to go back to work as soon as possible. Hopefully, my body is a willing participant!

Next week is kind of a big week, I guess, because I'm having a mole removed on my stomach on Monday. A scary looking mole that just became uglier after my stomach grew and contracted. The boys have their 2-month appointment on Wednesday, and then the thyroid thing which will pretty much kill next weekend, huh?

Last bit of news, I'm 'trying' to diet, but am having a hard time being motivated. You know how the first day of your period you are bloated, so even if you had lost weight the scale wouldn't show it. Plus, the first day of your period you could eat a house of chocolate. Well, that's me. I can't seem to get away from 180. There. I said it. I'm 5'4" and I weight 180. But I weighed about 167 (yes, about an exact number, ha!) when I got pregnant, so I'd like to at least get to that, which is still about 40 pounds overweight. I started when I went back to work last week and still weigh today what I did back then. I think I might need to step up the plan. But....probably after I recover from surgery. Yeah, probably after that.


JamieD said...

I think a lot about what our lives will be like when Skeeter gets here. It really warmed my heart to read your post tonight!

I am sorry you are having to undergo thyroid surgery and all the stress that goes along with it but I am glad you are getting it taken care of soon. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

She said...

I hope everything goes well with your surgery/ies.
It does stink that you didn't get a little longer reprieve from your period.
I definitely understand the desire to lose weight, but I also think you look beautiful the way you are. You've got a lot on your plate right now, too... If you're looking for a plan though, Weight Watchers has worked for a lot of my friends, and I just lost about 9 pounds working with their basic principles as well.

Sushilover said...

Wishing you the best with your surgery. And boy do I know what you mean about a peaceful trip to the bathroom. I tend to take the time late at night in between feedings. Sometimes it's worth it to give up some sleep time ;)

Anonymous said...

From someone that knows- take 2 weeks!!!!!