Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I curse you - HOA!

Please do not read this post if you are offended by cursing. I got a little out of hand, and don't feel like masking my emotional outburst.

So, just a little venting, because what is an IF blog, if not snarky, right?!

A few weeks ago, my DH and I received a letter from our Homeowners Association (HOA) that the branches on one of our trees was obstructing the path for the community mowers, and could we please have it trimmed. DH and I discussed this, and he preferred to wait until the leaves fell off this fall, to make it less bulky. I thought to myself, yes, its August, and so the mowers will be done soon enough, so what's the rush at this point? I mean, really, its not like the branches popped out there overnight, they've been overgrown all summer. We did have a friend look at it to give us an idea of what it would cost, but were in no hurry.

In yesterday's mail we received our second notice from the dear president of our HOA saying there had been a burglary at one of our neighbors' houses, and oh, by the way, he noticed our tree still was not trimmed so if we didn't have it done by this Friday, that he'd hire someone to have it done and bill us, if not put a lien on our home.

Commence the cursing.

FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.

I would like to fucking cut down that GD tree and put all the fucking branches in this asshole's front yard. I would like to write him a letter, or better yet, call him on the phone and tell him we just had our house treated for termites, have twin sons, I just finished radiation for cancer, and my husband took a new job which meant a 30% reduction in pay. For Pete's sake, couldn't you give us a little more time?! Seriously, have you nothing better to do? ASSHOLE!!!

But then I read the covenants, which say they can do this for any repairs not made in 15 days, and so I know I'm in the wrong. DH and some of my guy friends from work will do it tonight, guy friend 1 is delighted because he loves to saw things; and guy friend 2 is happy to get the free fire wood. But I still fucking hate homeowner's associations. Seriously, fuck off! Why isn't he harrassing the lady who lets her dog run circles around her with no leash - did I mention its illegal in this town and her dog is a huge pit bull?

As a sidenote, I already hate this guy. Two summers ago when I was living in Houston, my husband built a deck on our home. One night, while I was gone, this same asshole approached DH in the front yard and told him he couldn't build that deck, because it hadn't been approved by the HOA and he approved all the architectural committee projects and so he knew it hadn't been approved. So, DH calls me in Houston, and I tell him exactly where the SIGNED AND APPROVED ARCHITECTURAL COMMITTEE FORM IS. The asshole in the yard did indeed sign that fucking form. If only I could have been there to see his face when my DH showed it to him. Fucking asshat.

5 comments:

G$ said...

Spew the hate, sista! I can't even imagine having an HOA. I would probably go postal over that shit. Spewing it here is so much more civilized :)

JamieD said...

Oooohh - I hate HOAs as well. Ours is more concerned about trash cans being in view than the people who drive 40mph down the street alongside the park while simultanously smoking and texting.

I feel you. Spew away.

Erin said...

Things like this remind me why I will never live in a subdision/development/townhome complex. That stuff would drive me NUTS.

I commend you for being so together I would have told him all of those things.

thewombchronicles said...

Assy neighbors are the worst. I have one too. It's pretty difficult to deal with so kudos for not going ape shit on him.

Also, I just found your blog. I'm on team thyca too. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and if it helps at all, I feel relatively normal. A bit shaky now and again due to the TSH suppression but other than that I feel good.

Take care,
Lisa

areyoukiddingme said...

I know this is a little too late to be useful, but you can usually put them off by telling them that you're getting bids. Then you can tell them that it's a bad time to prune a tree, and you can only do it in fall after the leaves have fallen or in spring before the buds come out. I hate our HOA - especially the idiots who approve building plans.