I was supposed to get my scan results by phone on Wednesday or Thursday. Thursday came and went with no call. And Friday morning I was busy, so I finally left a message for them on Friday and got my call back yesterday afternoon. And the results were good. Apparently, it was a normal result for someone with thyroid cancer contained in the thyroid area. So, yay for me!!!! Yay for my husband, and for my boys!
Still won't know for sure whether or not last week's treatment worked until my follow up scan in April. And still need to get my thyroid hormone replacement regulated to 1) prevent recurrence and 2) hopefully stop the massive weight gain. But in the meantime, we are elated that it probably did not spread!
So, this is how my cancer story will hopefully go: Um, yeah, well, I had cancer for a few weeks back in '09 but it wasn't really my thing, so I gave it up.
Am home alone with the boys this rainy Saturday afternoon. DH is out doing some favor for his old business partner. And test driving a new vehicle. I hope he gets home soon, just because we kind of haven't had any time together, even though he works better hours now, it seems like we spend every waking hour caring for our boys or catching up on housework. And I kinda miss having quality time with my husband.
I just cried my way through the 16 & Pregnant episode where the girl gives her baby up for adoption. It was so emotional putting myself in both the bio parent and the adoptive parents position through the entire episode. I feel so blessed to have my boys and to have had them at the exact point in my life when we did. I know a lot of people hate that show, but just like the Real Housewives and other top notch reality shows, I can't give it up ;-)
I still can't taste food all the time. I thought I could taste sweets, but not all sweets, I guess. I baked some cookies this morning, and they taste like metal to me. Lovely.
I have been considering the need to downsize my car payment so have been looking at used cars online for the past few weeks. I'd like to cut that payment in half, but I still love my car that I bought last summer, and I'm not sure I'm ready to let it go. But after diapers, formula, and wipes, there's just not a lot leftover in the old grocery budget each week, and so I would like to find some place to cut back. But I love cable. And cable internet. And my car. And our house is cheaper than rent anywhere would be, and more spacious for all of us. And for some reason, I can't convince myself to eat PB&J morning, noon and night. Loser. ;-)
I think its a pretty strong indication that we can't afford to even THINK about more children yet considering my reaction to the cryobank's puny little bill for keeping our totsicles frozen this next year.
In real life baby news, my oldest (that would be Jack, by 2 minutes) thinks he wants to roll over, but mostly he just scoots himself around in a circle. He arches his back, stomps his left foot and rolls to the right, but somehow it just rotates him around. It's so fun to watch. Will is mostly content staring at things while kicking, but I'm sure he'll be up to similar antics soon enough.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Three Things
I had my scan yesterday. Three significant things about that.
1 - I.GOT.THE.ALL.CLEAR.TO.HOLD.MY.BABIES.LAST.NIGHT. Wahooooooooooooooooo! Will decided to celebrate by being up for about two hours in the night, hanging out with mommy in the rocking chair and couch. Precious time for me, even if it was in the wee hours of the morning. Totally worth it!
2 - I had my scan at the same hospital where I had my c-section, thyroid-ectomy, and radiation. But I had never been to the nuclear medicine area before. Um...what is the deal with leaving people basically immobile on a totally thin table with whatever type of imaging hardware that is two inches from their face while random people stroll up and down the hallway and into the adjoining bathroom?
The scan tech had me potty before my scan, and as I closed the bathroom door to the adjoining room I saw what I thought was a mannequin on the table in the next room. But realized on my way out after the scan that EVERY.SINGLE.ROOM had a person, just lying there in the dark with the door wide open. It was eery and somehow wrong that the doors weren't closed. Not that you're scanned naked or even in a hospital gown. But still.
3 - I can expect my scan results via phone today or tomorrow. And that, to me, is basically a time bomb. I know that if this has spread, that the treatment I had last week is basically the treatment for anywhere else it might be. I get that. But finding out its in my lungs or breasts or brain...well, that's going to be an emotional thing to hear. Yet, here I sit with my cell phone on vibrate, constantly by my side, waiting for that bomb to go off...or not.
1 - I.GOT.THE.ALL.CLEAR.TO.HOLD.MY.BABIES.LAST.NIGHT. Wahooooooooooooooooo! Will decided to celebrate by being up for about two hours in the night, hanging out with mommy in the rocking chair and couch. Precious time for me, even if it was in the wee hours of the morning. Totally worth it!
2 - I had my scan at the same hospital where I had my c-section, thyroid-ectomy, and radiation. But I had never been to the nuclear medicine area before. Um...what is the deal with leaving people basically immobile on a totally thin table with whatever type of imaging hardware that is two inches from their face while random people stroll up and down the hallway and into the adjoining bathroom?
The scan tech had me potty before my scan, and as I closed the bathroom door to the adjoining room I saw what I thought was a mannequin on the table in the next room. But realized on my way out after the scan that EVERY.SINGLE.ROOM had a person, just lying there in the dark with the door wide open. It was eery and somehow wrong that the doors weren't closed. Not that you're scanned naked or even in a hospital gown. But still.
3 - I can expect my scan results via phone today or tomorrow. And that, to me, is basically a time bomb. I know that if this has spread, that the treatment I had last week is basically the treatment for anywhere else it might be. I get that. But finding out its in my lungs or breasts or brain...well, that's going to be an emotional thing to hear. Yet, here I sit with my cell phone on vibrate, constantly by my side, waiting for that bomb to go off...or not.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Radioactive Girl Update
So, I have officially lost my sense of taste. It's a common side effect of radiation treatment. It could last days, months, or forever. No way to tell at this point. In its place, I have a slight metallic taste in my mouth. And my tongue is kind of numb. At least I had a few good days of taste after the iodine diet...oh and I'm still gaining weight. Mother F.
I went back to the office today, which was a joy! I was way more productive there than in the basement. And I'm sure being around people helped my emotional well being, as well.
I have my body scan tomorrow. Won't have the results until Wednesday or Thursday. Praying that the cancer is isolated to the neck area and has not spread anywhere else.
My husband has both boys on the couch. I type this from a folding camp chair in the dining room (MUCH more comfy than the dining room chairs!)
Last night, I laid on the couch with my lead apron doubled over by my neck with the boys on the other couch across the room. Well outside of the six foot range, but I still wanted the lead between them and my neck. It is hard to describe the emotional reality of constantly maintaining a 6 foot radius between you and any other human. THIS is why people get crazy obsessive compulsive disorders and hypochondria. I'm not choosing that, but I can see how you get there from here.
I went back to the office today, which was a joy! I was way more productive there than in the basement. And I'm sure being around people helped my emotional well being, as well.
I have my body scan tomorrow. Won't have the results until Wednesday or Thursday. Praying that the cancer is isolated to the neck area and has not spread anywhere else.
My husband has both boys on the couch. I type this from a folding camp chair in the dining room (MUCH more comfy than the dining room chairs!)
Last night, I laid on the couch with my lead apron doubled over by my neck with the boys on the other couch across the room. Well outside of the six foot range, but I still wanted the lead between them and my neck. It is hard to describe the emotional reality of constantly maintaining a 6 foot radius between you and any other human. THIS is why people get crazy obsessive compulsive disorders and hypochondria. I'm not choosing that, but I can see how you get there from here.
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