Aha Moment

I had an epiphany this week. DH and I had been talking about how the baby on the right was moving while I played a video game on Sunday, and joking about how it might be a 'gamer.' Back at work on Monday, he texted me that he had told several people about our little discovery.

All this time, I thought I was being selfish, because I wanted the experience of carrying a child. I felt guilty. I didn't realize how much my husband would gain from my pregnancy, how important it would be for him. Even though he's not carrying these children, he is totally invested in their development and the experience. He attends every appointment. He hears every heartbeat. He sees every movement. He may not have the children IN his tummy, but he is totally a part of this pregnancy.

So that's my aha moment for this week. God has blessed us BOTH with this experience. And its not just for me, T. gets the benefit of experiencing this with me. Yay for us!

(14 weeks)

Hectic Day

I just realized it is ONLY Tuesday. Seriously? How will I ever make it through this week? I will. I know I will. But I'm exhausted.

I worked from home a lot this weekend so I wouldn't be completely buried this week. And I worked form home last night aftere a full day until my eyes were crossing and I decided the line speed wasn't worth it. And this morning when I was lying in bed having imaginary conversations with our IT Director in my head, I decided to get up and go ahead and go into work. So, I got there at 6:30 (normal arrival time for me is 8ish). I got so much done in the two hours before my 8:30 IT meeting that I had been trying to get out of in my imaginary conversation!!! I don't know what I would have done without that time. So, by the time I needed to leave for my 10:00 OB appointment, I was ready to leave for the day, had everything done on my list.

OB appointment was quick and painless. We listened to their hearts on the doppler. Awesome. Always hold my breath waiting for those. We decided NOT to have any genetic testing, which was a relief. I think I was more stressed about being forced to make some sort of decision about amnio, or reduction, or something awful like that if we had a result we didn't want. So, we're going to pretend like we're normal, healthy people, not infertile people, and we're just going to wing it, genetically. Dr. C was perfectly fine with our decision, and assured me that most things could be detected in a sonogram anyway. I go back in three weeks, on November 12th.

After more time at work, an errand, and a quick lunch of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch, I headed to the sonogram place. They did not htink it was funny when I suggested they might roll the thing over my tummy. And they did not share any information about my thyroid, other than the fact that I gathered its quite large. So, I will await my appt with my GP next week to find out whether or not I should be worried. I'm assuming they're going to refer me to a new endrocrinologist - this time a thyroid specialist. How many hormone docs does one girl need?

Also, I think my belly is growing at an obnoxious rate. My OB pointed out to his resident today how large I was for 14 weeks. Which did not offend me, because I knew right away I knew he meant because its twins, not because I'm a cow. When I woke up this morning, I felt strains in my lower abdomen, intermittent, on both sides. I was worried it was cramping, but after the heartbeats, I determined it must be round ligament pain. I might have to invest in that darn belly bra after all.

Whew!

(13wk 5d)

T.G.I.F.

T.G.I.F.

I am still feeling pregnant. I have been scratching my belly today, and I imagine I feel them move when I do it. And yet, I worry that I only feel one of them move. Or that what I'm really feeling is gas. Don't get me wrong. I'm not completely bipolar. I am still giddy and excited and positive about things right now. But who doesn't have a nagging voice in the back of her head?

My self-proclaimed pregnancy partner found out yesterday that one of her twins had died. And I am so sad for her. For all the support and validation from this community, I also have opened myself up to a lot more emotion than I ever thought I could feel for someone I've never met. I thought this post was particularly well written and it just seems like what I would be feeling if it were me. I don't know how I would feel, I cannot imagine this loss, but her words just feel so true.

As for the T.G.I.F. well can I just say Whew! I finally made it through this week! As I mentioned yesterday, my work is really just a whirlwind right now. I myself prefer a day or so in meetings or out of the office each week, or every other week coupled with time to chit chat with my friends at work, perhaps a few personal emails here and there, and the luxury of all luxuries - time to plan. But starting back on September 25 and finishing up on December 15, I have a meeting, training event, or other event every single day -and the majority of them are at least 10-3. Which leaves very little time to prepare for the next meeting or to return phone calls. Every night this week I've saved email for home and even returned some calls via email because I couldn't get them returned during business hours.

I will be working from home tomorrow, which is good, because I have a lot to catch up on and I'm sure mentally I'll be a lot stronger next week because I will just feel so much more prepared. Tuesday, someone is taking over my class so I can go to the OB at 10; and a sono appt at 12:45 (for the goiter). So, working tomorrow will make that a totally guilt free work day. Can't say I didn't put in the time.

Other than the work, I really have no plans this weekend. Even though we celebrated last weekend, our anniversary is on Sunday. I need to get DH a card. I already got him a small gift. I thought we might go get a pedicure, now that I'm out of the 1st trimester, all should be well. And I need one!

Oh, and I've started stressing about Christmas, just a little. I really haven't got much shopping done, and am not finding inspiration in our new 'pre-twin-parent' budget range. So, when I get sick of work, will probably surf the internet for that.

(13w, 1 d)