Pregnancy Hormones Wreak Havoc

Despite my fabulous afternoon on the deck, I was starting to get depressed this week. I'm tired of my husband working crazy hours and overcommitting. I was devastated to learn he will be working next Saturday AND Sunday. The prospect of a whole weekend alone in this house just about undid me. Normally, I would go out with friends or jump in the car and leave him behind when he pulls this crap. I would be in Iowa with family or Minnesota with friends before he knew what hit him. That's what I normally do. But being 32weeks (and two days!) pregnant with twins, I can't leave the city limits, and I know I need to rest.

I'm sad that I spend so much time home alone. I'm bored with our bedroom and Tivo. I'm impatient for the boys to get here, but determined to keep them in as long as possible. I was beginning to feel like a prisoner to this pregnancy.

But two things have cheered me up.

1 - DH is off today, which is the first Saturday he hasn't worked since Christmas. We went grocery shopping together, and he has been working on his resume so he can find a new job that is not so all-consuming.

2 - My old roommate sent me this video from the Kevin Fowler concert in Manhattan last night - a musician who we discovered when we lived in Houston together. A rowdy drunken country singer whose hits range from 'don't touch my willy' to 'beer, bait, and ammo' to this, our old favorite 'long line of losers'. Last year in November, I took this roommate to a KF concert in KC for his birthday.

So, it was sweet of him to be thinking of me while he was out drinking with his new friends. And also, he said the sweetest thing on the phone yesterday afternoon when I was whining. He didn't judge, he didn't blow off or invalidate my feelings. He simply said, "it will all be worth it." This brought me to tears. He's right and I know it, but sometimes when you're in the forest, its hard to see the daylight. But it felt good to hear him say it. Also made me feel like just because I can't be the friend he goes to beer joints with, that we're still friends. And even though it may feel like my life is on hold right now, I still have a lot of friends who will be waiting for me when I return - or even better, if because I'm now a mother to twins, I can never return to that life.

The video is poor quality and you probably wouldn't recognize the song, but I want to save it here, as a reminder of what a good day today is (especially since I know I could get down again tomorrow).

Why do I do this to myself?

Ok, seriously, I should not be allowed access to the internet.

Last night, I started wondering how my OB will get the boys out if they are breech.

I didn't think it would be that bad.

I thought, well, they don't move the incision up, so they must reach in there and flip them around or something. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

All of the videos on youtube showed this same technique. I kept thinking it was taking forever to get the babies out until I realized the video isn't even two minutes long.

32 weeks

Seasonal Affective What????

So, it is 70 degrees today in South Central Kansas. Wahoooooo!!!!

Never have I been more delighted to be working from home in the afternoons, as I have spent the past several hours on my back deck, feet up on a chair facing mine, laptop on pillow on lap, dog by my side, all of us soaking up some Vitamin D in the sun.

I had to call my boss under the guise of finding out how much grief I would catch tomorrow for having a tan, when all I was really doing was gloating.

It is so gorgeous today! So fabulous to listen to the birds, feel the sunlight on my face, and just be outside of my bedroom!