I have so much to be thankful for every single day. I have a great job. A beautiful home. A generous and loving husband who is also handsome and smart and funny. And more importantly, a wonderful father to the best boys a girl could have. I am laying in bed watching a Law & Order rerun while the boys watch Dinosaur Train. I'm a bit dizzy from the pain meds....because I had my boobs removed on Monday.
Well. Not technically removed. But it feels like it. I mean, I've been large chested since junior high and so to have nipples that are smaller than a dinner plate, and that point out and not down is just going to take me awhile to get used to. And the size, oh, the size. That may be the biggest adjustment of them all, because when the nurse in the hospital asked me what I thought of my post-op bra, all I could think is that it looked empty. I've never had an empty bra before. So, I'm having a big of post-operative remorse, but I'm sure I'll be pleased as punch in 6 months or so. Seriously, I could buy training bras at Justice now. Although they tell me I'm a 'C' I guess I had no idea how small that would be.
I'm trying to wein myself off the pain meds. I'm down to half a pill every 6 hours. But this afternoon I plan to move on to plain old Tylenol. These narcotics make me so sleepy! Which is fine at night, because I have to sleep sitting up for two weeks and so can use the help. But not fun during the day when I can't even finish a commercial without snoozing.
My DH and I prepared Thanksgiving dinner which is in the oven right now, and on the stove, and in the fridge. It seriously took like 20 minutes to get everything prepapred. I don't get what the big deal is....but then again, I'm only cooking for 4. I was definitely motivated by my grandmother's mashed potatoes. If that's all I eat today, I will be just fine.
My brother and his family will be here for a few hours tomorrow. I'm excited for my boys to get to play with their cousins. And I'm excited for my me to see my family for a little while. They've never been to any of our homes. In all these years. So, it means a lot that they're coming over while they're in town visiting my SIL's brother's in-laws.
I don't really have anything else going on. No word on whether or not we'll be moving to KC. Should know in the next few weeks, I suppose. Will be interesting to go back to work and try to function when I can't lift my arms above my head. And hoping that no one will notice that I am now completely flat chested. I'll be fine. Really, I will. But I can't lie to you. It's really flat. And although I wanted this, and I still think I want it, I've already teased my husband that next I'm getting implants! :)
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
About That....
About that post I wrote a week or so ago where I drove everyone nuts worrying about all the "what ifs" surround my boss possibly moving to Colorado and me not being able to go with him????
Well.....they offered him a chance on Friday and he turned them down.
And they immediately offered me a chance to go to Missouri for another job.
That's right. The owner of my company flew down to have lunch with my boss, and then with me, to let us throw our hats in the ring for promotions.
The owner and VP of Ops are acting like I'm already in Kansas City. The VP actually asked me who I was going to tell on my current staff....to which I said, I thought I would wait until they actually made an offer.
It's all very complex and a lot of dominoes are involved, and yes, the VP and owner would pick me. That was plan 18 months ago when I accepted this job - that it would be good training ground to go run our company in KC. And I remember the owner saying the exact words that helped me decide to take the job ... "I don't think 3 years would be too long to train before running KC." But there is another interested party, who already lives there, who is very good, and who is just as likely to get the job. The job starts 1/1/13. We would need to sell the house we just bought 6 months ago, which would cost us a fortune. But my boss tells me "if you get the chance, you'd better take it." I assume the money we lose on the house would be regained the first year in salary alone.
They will continue these flights around to the various divisions for the next few weeks, and hope to have a plan in place by January. So, for now, they know I'm interested. And my boss knows its a possiblity that I'll go. And we wait. Lucky for me, my backup plan should they not offer me the job is pretty stellar. I get to stay here with my wonderful boss, job, home, and life in Texas. Its win-win.
So, the VP job goes to one of two people. If A. takes that job, then S. takes A's job. And I could have S's job. If A does not take the VP job, then S takes the VP job, and I could still have S's job.
Or they could give it to T.
I'm trying not to think about it. 15 days from now I'm getting my breast reduction. And then my family will be here for Thanksgiving. We'll go to Kansas for Christmas, Indiana for New Year's. Its a busy few months.
And after that, everything will be normal or everything will be completely different.
Wish us luck!
Well.....they offered him a chance on Friday and he turned them down.
And they immediately offered me a chance to go to Missouri for another job.
That's right. The owner of my company flew down to have lunch with my boss, and then with me, to let us throw our hats in the ring for promotions.
The owner and VP of Ops are acting like I'm already in Kansas City. The VP actually asked me who I was going to tell on my current staff....to which I said, I thought I would wait until they actually made an offer.
It's all very complex and a lot of dominoes are involved, and yes, the VP and owner would pick me. That was plan 18 months ago when I accepted this job - that it would be good training ground to go run our company in KC. And I remember the owner saying the exact words that helped me decide to take the job ... "I don't think 3 years would be too long to train before running KC." But there is another interested party, who already lives there, who is very good, and who is just as likely to get the job. The job starts 1/1/13. We would need to sell the house we just bought 6 months ago, which would cost us a fortune. But my boss tells me "if you get the chance, you'd better take it." I assume the money we lose on the house would be regained the first year in salary alone.
They will continue these flights around to the various divisions for the next few weeks, and hope to have a plan in place by January. So, for now, they know I'm interested. And my boss knows its a possiblity that I'll go. And we wait. Lucky for me, my backup plan should they not offer me the job is pretty stellar. I get to stay here with my wonderful boss, job, home, and life in Texas. Its win-win.
So, the VP job goes to one of two people. If A. takes that job, then S. takes A's job. And I could have S's job. If A does not take the VP job, then S takes the VP job, and I could still have S's job.
Or they could give it to T.
I'm trying not to think about it. 15 days from now I'm getting my breast reduction. And then my family will be here for Thanksgiving. We'll go to Kansas for Christmas, Indiana for New Year's. Its a busy few months.
And after that, everything will be normal or everything will be completely different.
Wish us luck!
Monday, October 24, 2011
The Winds they are a Changing
I am Type A. Yes, I underwent a totally unpredictable, out of (my) control situation with IF, IUI, and IVF. And a mother of twins! Oy vay!
But in this, I felt in control in a lot of ways. I could take my shots on time, and not miss a single dose. I could feed the boys every 2 hours, per the pediatrician's instructions, I can feed them organic food. I can control so many aspects of things even when they're out of control. That's how I deal. I control. That's what I do.
I wrote last about my fears that my boss would leave our division, leave Texas, leave me. I am still struggling with this. Sometimes when I share things in my blog, or talk about them with my husband, the catharsis provides relief, like I'm finally confronting some truth I've been avoiding. But with this fear of the future of my career, talking about it here and with DH has not helped. If anything, it has elevated my fear and made it more real. I know that discussing it with my boss would make me feel better in the short term, but in the long term, it would not, because showing weakness and admitting my uncertainty would be revealing a weakness I'd rather he not see. Or remember. And then use against me (even if he thought he was doing me a favor) in the future. I hate to commit to a certain path when there are so many variables at this time. So, out of fear, I am trying to figure out the best strategy to have the "right" outcome for me, and to know what it is that I do want, given any number of scenarios. It's a lot like Survivor. We often joke about our "Survivor Mentality" - me, my boss, and other peers in similar positions that are all impacted by each other's moves. I openly strive to form alliances.
So, problem #1 - will we be happy in TX if boss leaves and takes other friend with him (yes, in 18 months, I know, perhaps melodramatic, but I need control, remember?)....so, I've been making attempts to make friends. For example, we went to the Fall Festival at the boys' pre school on Friday night and I finally introduced myself to the dad who drops off his daughter at the same time as me every morning, and his wife, and my DH. Jay and Amy. Parents of L. Nice enough. But so freaking awkward to be making friends at 34. Seems desparate. Still can't bring myself to make friends with the unattractive parents at the Play Place at the mall - even though our boys were only one of 3 sets of twins there on Sunday. And obviously I'd have things in common with parents of two-year-old twins. But they didn't look like us. Okay. Perhaps my standards are too high. I've always had acquaintances I could take or leave and just a few close BFFs. So, anyway, working on that problem.
And problem #2 - forming an alliance with my co-manager at work who I do not trust just in case I do have to one day work for him, or he one day works for me. He's just hard to read and I tend to think he has an agenda. DH has suggested I work to figure out what his agenda is. Does this make any more of you want to puke? I. h.a.t.e. political crap. Just be honest. And direct. I can't stand the thought of playing fake or nice or anything else. Just spell it out already.
Not sure which of these two is harder for me. I have wonderful, fabulous friends who I treasure, but they just don't live very close to me. I don't want to have to make new friends. I don't want to put myself out there. It feels like dating. Boo!
But in this, I felt in control in a lot of ways. I could take my shots on time, and not miss a single dose. I could feed the boys every 2 hours, per the pediatrician's instructions, I can feed them organic food. I can control so many aspects of things even when they're out of control. That's how I deal. I control. That's what I do.
I wrote last about my fears that my boss would leave our division, leave Texas, leave me. I am still struggling with this. Sometimes when I share things in my blog, or talk about them with my husband, the catharsis provides relief, like I'm finally confronting some truth I've been avoiding. But with this fear of the future of my career, talking about it here and with DH has not helped. If anything, it has elevated my fear and made it more real. I know that discussing it with my boss would make me feel better in the short term, but in the long term, it would not, because showing weakness and admitting my uncertainty would be revealing a weakness I'd rather he not see. Or remember. And then use against me (even if he thought he was doing me a favor) in the future. I hate to commit to a certain path when there are so many variables at this time. So, out of fear, I am trying to figure out the best strategy to have the "right" outcome for me, and to know what it is that I do want, given any number of scenarios. It's a lot like Survivor. We often joke about our "Survivor Mentality" - me, my boss, and other peers in similar positions that are all impacted by each other's moves. I openly strive to form alliances.
So, problem #1 - will we be happy in TX if boss leaves and takes other friend with him (yes, in 18 months, I know, perhaps melodramatic, but I need control, remember?)....so, I've been making attempts to make friends. For example, we went to the Fall Festival at the boys' pre school on Friday night and I finally introduced myself to the dad who drops off his daughter at the same time as me every morning, and his wife, and my DH. Jay and Amy. Parents of L. Nice enough. But so freaking awkward to be making friends at 34. Seems desparate. Still can't bring myself to make friends with the unattractive parents at the Play Place at the mall - even though our boys were only one of 3 sets of twins there on Sunday. And obviously I'd have things in common with parents of two-year-old twins. But they didn't look like us. Okay. Perhaps my standards are too high. I've always had acquaintances I could take or leave and just a few close BFFs. So, anyway, working on that problem.
And problem #2 - forming an alliance with my co-manager at work who I do not trust just in case I do have to one day work for him, or he one day works for me. He's just hard to read and I tend to think he has an agenda. DH has suggested I work to figure out what his agenda is. Does this make any more of you want to puke? I. h.a.t.e. political crap. Just be honest. And direct. I can't stand the thought of playing fake or nice or anything else. Just spell it out already.
Not sure which of these two is harder for me. I have wonderful, fabulous friends who I treasure, but they just don't live very close to me. I don't want to have to make new friends. I don't want to put myself out there. It feels like dating. Boo!
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