My Own Saturday

Today is Saturday. I woke up early this morning to put my cheesy potatoes in the oven. Brushed my teeth. Paid bills. Balanced the checkbook. And then got ready for my boss's annual Christmas Brunch. It was a lovely event, filled with special women who are so kind and so funny. It was a great start to the day.

After that, I drove past the mall, and then re-thought returning the cyrstal bank I received for the boys last week. Not because I've decided to keep it. No, it was the fact that people were parking in the farthest out parking lots, oh, and the lovely sign courtesy of the Wichita PD which was flashing Lock Your Car, Take Your Keys, Hide your Items. I guess that after reading that I kind of thought I'd be asking to be robbed if I went inside. So, I drove back toward my house and found myself at Hobby Lobby.

Can I just tell you how much I love this store? Absolute retail therapy for me. And why? Because decorations and housewares are always the right size, and never ever make you feel fat! I was inspired by the decor at my boss's home, and decided to jazz up my mantel just a tish more before my Girls Night In this next weekend. So, ta-da!


I had purchased the mirror and hurricane lamps last weekend, and the Santa was a gift. So, really, just the greenery was purchased today. And the picture does not do it justice. I'm sitting here just beaming at it. L.O.V.E. it!

After the decorating frenzy, I started my Christmas baking. So far, I haven't gotten much done because 1) I can't wash dishes because I can hardly reach the faucet at the sink (silly babies are in the way!) so I have to run the dishwasher after every recipe; and 2) I can't stand for too long or my feet hurt; and 3) I can't sit at the table too long or my back hurts. So, basically all I've got so far is one batch of banana bread, another batch of those Ritz Cracker / Peanut Butter sandwiches coated in chocolate almond bark, and some oreo truffles in the fridge waiting for their very own chocolate bath. My goal for tomorrow is to make up the rest of the dough for the party, even if I don't do any baking until Thursday night. I'm worried the cookies would get dried out by next weekend.

And if I wasn't busy enough, I have my final work trip out of town before I'm grounded by my OB this week, so I'll be in Kansas City two nights this week. Maybe I'll get up and start melting some chocolate now. Although...I must admit....I'd really rather go back to Hobby Lobby and buy some more stuff for my tree.....

Oh, and the whole point of this post. All day I've been thinking Next year, this won't be so easy. T. would have to stay home with the boys so I could go to the brunch. How could I ever do all this baking with two infants? Etc. Etc. Etc. So, trying to enjoy this freedom while it lasts.

Biopsy Day

So, I had my thyroid biopsy today. DH was there waiting for me, which is a big deal, because he's usually 10 minutes late to everything. He knew this was a super big deal. I have been in denial about it for so many weeks, so it kind of snuck up on me.

So, I really liked the surgeon, Dr. L. He was personable and funny and kind and considerate. I had DH sitting on the exam table, and I sat in the extra chair, because sitting up without any back support just kills my back. So, it threw everyone off. But I was happy.

Before he started the biopsy, Dr. L explained how the procedure would go, that he wanted me to come back in a week no matter what, and that they would call with the results before then. He also said that any treatment would wait until after the twins were born. Unless the results were really weird. And that made me happy, because if he recommended surgery, I was going to need a lot of reassurance that it wouldn't hurt the boys in any way.

The biopsy itself was uncomfortable and a little painful, but it only lasted about 5 minutes. He took a couple samples, but was concerned about my discomfort on the table (sensitive, huh?). I think the worst was when they numbed my neck, which burned like a MF.

I came home from the appointment, ate two Beef Chalupa Supreme, drank one 6 ounce Coke, and one small chocolate shake, and have been watching the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants II. I'm also answering work emails, but I am focusing on me for a few hours. I feel lame, because the procedure was not that bad, but I just didn't feel like going back to work. I think because of the pregnancy I am trying to be easier on my self than I normally would. Current condition is swollen neck, a little soreness, but otherwise just normal.

Work was a b*tch today. Still working on site supporting this division that just converted to a new computer system, but the new users' complaining and whining finally got to me. So, I had had it with them. And decided not to go back today or tomorrow. They can call me or IT. But I've had it with them. Do they not realize this is NOT my job? That I did not design or purchase this system? That I'm just volunteering to help them, in addition to my regular duties? Anyway, I was way over it. Yes, I'm grateful to have a job, and I want to be a team player, but my emotional well being is more important than those wackjobs using me for a target for their constant complaints.

***

In other news, I had asked the NP yesterday at my OB appointment (OB was unavailable due to 3 deliveries yesterday) why Dr C had moved my gestation to 35 weeks - if they were concerned about my health, the health of the twins, etc. She said she thought that since the babies were so large that my body would decide to evict the boys and so I would go into premature labor. So, I have a bunch of questions about what I can do to prevent that when I see my OB on the 24th, but in the meantime, Dr Google has me taking better care of myself (hence coming home after the appointment), drinking more water, and back on my iron supplement. I'm not sure what else I can do. But for now, at least, I feel like I have at least some part in keeping those two in there as long as possible.

Whirlwind

So, the bad news first. My company is losing money in some markets - not all. So, they are cutting back training. And, as my job is to coordinate all training and development for the entire company, my workload is being cut back substantially. And this, after I just finished up a 3-year project that had forced me to do my actual job half-assed all this time. I was really looking forward to doing MY job, and doing a much better job than I've been able to for SO long. And literally the day my schedule opens up - yes, THEE day! - they cancel three of my four big events.

I agree with their decision. We are laying people off. And the money savings could spare a few people their jobs. I get it. I agree. But in the meantime, I still have to fill my workday. And so, now I will be stuck doing crappy IT projects that I (you pick your favorite here: abhor, detest, fucking hate!) and so I want to pout. I DON'T WANT TO! Now, I should be happy to have a job, but why, out of 500+ people in the company am I the only one to have her work just ripped out beneath her feet? Of course, I have a million other things I COULD do during this time, but a real team player would help IT because I can translate for them to operations and accounting, and because they're always behind, and because I'm uniquely qualified to do so. But did I mention I don't want to?

So, pouting here at home. And have already been delegated two crappy IT projects, plus the one I had promised to help them finish up even though I was supposed to officially 'retire' from IT on Monday. Poor me!

***

We *almost* had our first foster placement tonight. We have had two offers before, but had to turn them down because my work schedule made me out of town, or they didn't have daycare and I had to work. But today, it was a 16-month old girl, L., who was being taken from her teenage mother, who is currently living in a residential teen mother home in the area. Apparently, L's mother has been skipping school, so the judge was going to take L away for a few days to teach her a lesson. But in court today, the judge decided the absenteeism isn't as bad as first thought and so mother and child get to stay together. I am happy for the child, because it would have been SO traumatic for this little one to come to stay with us, this little one who according to our worker had never been away from her mother. And its not like she's a bad mom, just truant. So, I'm relieved for the child, but I will admit it was a letdown. I was excited that we were going to have a little one in the house, and that were finally going to get a chance to help.

***

The best news ever is that I for sure am feeling the twins move now, sometimes. Last night, I was on the couch and thinking I felt kicks, so I put the remote on my belly (trick my friend K recommended). And I could see it move when I felt a kick. What's more - DH could see it move. So after a few kicks, I took it off, and I could see my skin bounce when I felt a kick. After the worry about my job, and having to do crappy IT jobs, it was very emotional for me to be reminded of what really matters, and to focus on my boys for awhile. And it was particularly powerful because my husband was the first to notice the remote move, and so special that we could share that moment.

***

Have regular OB appointment tomorrow, and biopsy on my goiter on Thursday. Probably will be at least a week before we get the results back, so still not focusing on the 'C' word, but its looming....

(20w 5d)