Emotional (11wk 2d)

The pregnancy hormones are in full force today. Yeah for being pregnant!

I have been tearing up all morning from the simplest of things.

First, it was an article in People (my guilty pleasure) about Paul Newman. Then, it was the kind, supportive comments from Blue and Seriously? who have been great online friends to me, but for some reason today, I really was touched by their sharing in this journey with me. Thank you, ladies. This blog has been such an important outlet for me since I started it last Spring. And the women who share their stories, and comments, have given me such strength, such validation. It has been so amazing. But before this gets to sappy...

It was giggling that finally got the tears to burst through and run down my face. Now, I will share the link below. I found it on one of the two non-IF blogs that I follow. But I do not want to offend anyone. So, I must put in place this disclaimer:

I am a Christian. Not a very conservative one, but I am an active member of my church, I pray day and night, and I struggle to live the life God has planned for me, in the way He showed me to live. I am constantly growing in my faith.

I'm not sure if you have to be from Kansas to appreciate the humor in dissing Intelligent Design or not. If so, I apologize. I know only one of my online friends is from this state, and she may be a big proponent of this teaching. If you don't think this is funny, please just click away.

But to my demented mind, THIS is funny. I especially enjoyed the links to home and hate mail and recommend them.

I also follow the blog of Jen Lancaster, who is a fabulous author. She is hilarious, and apparently, so are her readers. I especially enjoyed their comments on Things You Don't Want to Hear.

And now I am off to watch Private Practice which was Tivo'd on the living room tivo this week, which is fabulous, because I lost track of when the new season started and would have otherwise missed it. Lucky me!

100th Post (11wk 1d)

Happy 100th Post to me!

Had OB appointment today, and got to see the twins with their fabulous little heartbeats. What a relief! I wish I didn't get so worked up, I really do, but I can't help it. I was worrying on the drive there, in the waiting room, the whole time, really. I was so worked up, even my poor innocent DH was worried. As soon as I told Dr. C about the spotting, he whipped out the sono. (Yes, sadly, I am still spotting.)

I held my breath until we saw both of their heartbeats. And then I got to watch the baby on the left show off his or her fabulous acrobatic routine which included a lot of waving around and spinning. I could have watched that all day. (How can I not feel all that movement? I mean, I know they're suspended in amniotic fluid, but seriously, (s)he was all over in there.) We didn't watch the other baby as much, but saw the heartbeat and movement, and so I'm happy. I must admit, though, this was my first belly sono, and so I was disappointed that we couldn't see the babies any better. The picture quality at my ob's office is definitely not as good as at the RE's. I'm not even posting the pic here or sending it to the fam because its so blurry and weak.

Regarding the spotting, Dr. C said it is most likely (though not 100%) from my cervix. He thinks it could be caused from standing too long, and thinks my bed rest regimen (lunch, after work, and on weekends) is plenty good. He even recommended leg stretches so I don't get clots from laying in bed so much! He predicted it could last as long as week 16, but maybe only week 14 since what I was describing was so minimal. So, that's at least 3 more weeks of this sporatic, irritating yet scary phenomena. I'm anxious to have this weekend to lie in bed and rest and hope the spotting will just freaking go away already!

Dr C did not measure their growth, or their heart rates. Not sure why. I asked about measurements, and he just said my babies were fine. He is so great, and has been doing this so long, so I didn't push. Just because I read about these things on other people's blogs doesn't mean I need them myself. But I guess I just sort of assumed that was standard.

I go back in 3 weeks, but he told me to call if I wanted to come sooner. He even stressed that if the girls at the reception desk aren't taking me serious enough to be sure to talk to his nurse and he would get me in the next day. And THIS is why I could care less about the measurements. THIS makes me feel sane and normal and validated for being a freakishly worried pregnant lady. THIS is everything to me right now.

He also told me he is only seeing me in 3 weeks, because he was afraid if he booked it sooner that I would be worried he thought there was something wrong. ;-) He knows me too well!

He is also referring me back to my PCP for the goiter. He thinks it may be a cyst and wants me to have a thyroid sono (hmmm, I wonder if they would consider taking a peak at the twins while they've got that thing fired up????). So, I need to call him next week and get that scheduled. Lovely.

I still have the spotting. And I am still upset about it every time I wipe or feel a twinge in my abdomen. The sono helped. But no more spotting would help more. So, I am committed to a homebound weekend in the hopes of getting rid of this crappy spotting for good. Just because I could spot 5 more weeks doesn't mean I HAVE to!

Spotting, Version 4.0 (10wk 6 d)

I had some BROWN spotting again this morning.

I'm not going to freak out, just rest as much as possible.

Very minimal. Appears to have gone away.

Not H.A.P.P.Y. Not P.L.E.A.S.E.D. But not freaking out. Resting in bed @ lunch (right now) and going back to finish my training class, then I will promptly return to my humble abode and work from home. Thank GOD I have this option.

Also, will be demanding a sono on Friday's OB appt. Stay tuned...